Reminiscing- A Birth Story

My pregnancy with H was basically uneventful in a good way. I spent the first 4 months laying on the couch in a daze. I remember laying there so tired and so sick that I’m ashamed to say I did very little with S aside from tossing him cheerios and refilling his sippy with milk. Those middle months weren’t too bad and come summer time I looked like a balloon and felt like one too. I retain water anyway but having a baby in August is just plain miserable.

At about 20 weeks I was elated to find out we were having another boy. Everything looked great and while I never really worried about the baby I was terrified of labor and delivery. About 6 or 7 weeks before my due date I flew to Oklahoma for an Usborne convention (with my doctors permission of course:) The first night that I was there I had some bleeding. I was able to snag a ride with one of the other consultants and she took me to the hospital where they performed an ultrasound to see if the baby was okay. The baby checked out fine and I’ll never forget when the sonographer smiled and said, "He has a full head of hair"!

Eight days before my due date I awoke about 1:30 in the morning with contractions. The contractions were steady throughout the night and I woke Carl at 6:30. At 7:00 am we called my sister to come over. She arrived about 15 minutes later and as I was climbing into our SUV Carl said, "Are you sure your in labor". Duh! We arrived at UVRMC a few minutes later and they took us to our room. They checked me and asked if I wanted an epidural. I was surprised that I could get one so soon because the contractions weren’t too bad. I decided against it. Carl went to get some food and when he came back I was dilated to an eight. At 9:15 am little H was born red faced and mad.... and oh yes with a full head of hair:) It was love at first sight even before the nurse stated, "He has a dimple". He weighed seven pounds twelve ounces and measured twenty inches long.

At two weeks old, H had his first haircut. Even with his new cut I would get comments like, "Aren’t you tempted to put bows in that hair", or "Oh, She’s so beautiful with all that hair". Duh, blue blanket, blue clothes, Its' a BOY!

H was an easy baby and by six months old he weighed 18 pounds. He was very tolerant of S and his jealous streak and I would often find S wrestling H. He hardly ever cried and was such a cuddlebug. By eighteen months old, H could be found on top of the table, on top of the counter, or standing on a chair. You get the picture. He didn’t make a lot of noise. The silent terror.

H is a yellow. He’s the happy, playful, roll with the punches kind of kid. H was sent to this family to teach us all to chill. H likes it when people are having fun, cracking jokes, and getting along. H would give you the shirt off his back if it would please you. I’m so thankful we have this kid in our family.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAMMER!

Blind Date Saves a Life

Some of the strangest events are meant to happen. In April 1997, my big brother agreed to go on a "blind date". I’m quite sure he didn’t make it a habit of dating girls he didn’t know but for some unknown reason he agreed to go out with this particular girl, I’ll call her Sarah. Sarah was a student training to be an Ultrasound Technician. She was looking for pregnant women in their 3rd trimester to volunteer for a FREE ultrasound.

Several weeks after the date, my brother mentioned Sarah’s offer. Being 38 weeks pregnant, I was excited to have another ultrasound, another chance to peek at my little boy. Sarah worked me into her schedule and performed the ultrasound which measured my baby at 34 weeks. I wasn’t too worried about it. After all, Sarah was just a student and had probably made an error.

The next week I explained to my OB that I had an ultrasound which measured my baby 4 weeks too small. I remember clearly the look on his face. His eyes got big and he looked very concerned. Immediately he ordered another ultrasound. I walked across the parking lot to the hospital where a team of sonographers performed another ultrasound. The ultrasound showed that the cord was wrapped around the baby’s neck.

I was placed on the list to be induced that day. I went home and got ready to go to the hospital.
In the evening, I was called in. We arrived at the hospital at about 7:00 pm. Within a half hour they had started the pitocin and my labor began. The labor progressed steadily and they gave me an epidural which didn’t work! The contractions were really hard. Dr. Isaac broke my water and within an hour I was pushing. The fetal monitor showed that with each contraction the baby’s heartbeat significantly decreased. The medical staff turned on panic mode and after 15 minutes of pushing, suction cups and many prayers, S came into this world at 2:30 am! He looked great! 5 lbs. 15 oz, 18 inches!

It wasn’t until delivery was complete that the Dr. realized that not only was the cord wrapped around his neck.... it was also in a knot. Everytime I had a contraction, the knot would get tighter and tighter. Little S was starving!

Today, S is tall. He is smart, athletic, caring, thoughtful! He is so much more than I ever was at his age. I am a proud momma to say the least!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY S!

The NICU (continued)

The next morning I got a call from a doctor in the NICU. He reported that Crew had a rough night. Initially, the staff decided was doing well on the vent and he didn’t need it anymore. Without weaning him off, they took him off the vent and he crashed, he stopped breathing. They basically had to bag him or resuscitate him to get him going again. And then the seizures started. When the doctor told me this I really didn’t “get” what he was saying. Over the next few days, months, and years it has really settled in and I just don’t understand how this mistake could be made.

Carl and I went up to the NICU that morning and the doctor pulled the curtain around Crew’s little isolette and gave us the talk. She talked of seizures, mental retardation and possible CP. I hated her! She kept repeating the same thing over and over. She asked us if we had questions and I was just stunned. It was all so overwhelming that I didn’t even know where to start. I didn’t even know what to ask.

The next few days were a blur. We spent many hours standing beside the isolette. Carl made a trip in each morning before work. The nurses reported that he would read Crew stories, Hop on Pop, Green Eggs and Ham, etc. They were impressed as they had never seen a dad do that before.

On day 5 they decided Crew was finally stable enough to do an MRI. I had a hard time getting info from the doctors throughout that first week as I was learning that I needed to be more assertive. Finally, during the evening of day 5 after several attempts at contacting the Dr. he called me at home. I will never forget where I was when he called. I had just sat down to “pump” and Carl was at work. This Dr. reported that the MRI showed “significant” brain damage in many areas of the brain. I asked where and how it would affect Crew. He told me that it could affect his movement, thinking, body temperature, swallowing. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. This information was more than I could take at the time and I was upset that I had to hear it over the phone.

Finally on day 6 Crew was taken off the vent. When I arrived at the hospital and saw that they had removed the ventilator, I was thrilled. He was still being tube fed but making progress. When Crew was one week old I was able to hold him for the first time. I was physically exhausted at that point. They laid him in my arms and the warmth of his little body and the peace and comfort I felt was relaxing. I immediately fell asleep.

The next two weeks were mostly uphill from there. When he was 10 days old Crew graduated to the “stepdown” NICU. This is a separate room where babies don’t need the vent anymore but are still learning to eat. They still need to be monitored. Most of the babies were preemies and needed to be fattened up. The nurses were great and the babies in there had nicknames. They named Crew, “THE MOOSE” because he was so large compared to all the preemies.

To this day I am so thankful for the positive nurses and therapists. Our wonderful, OT, Annie gave me hope. After all the speculation regarding Crews ability to suck and swallow, Annie stood up and declared, “What are you talking about that he can’t suck.. “ and she pushed her finger into his mouth and said “HE CAN SUCK!” Annie was with me that first day that I tried breastfeeding Crew. She showed me all the tricks and she rejoiced with me when he latched on during my first attempt. He was a pro!

Dr. Nance was another optimist that made a difference. One day during that first week in the NICU Nance stood beside me as I peered into the isolette, put his arm around my shoulder, and talked about the amazing brain. He talked about how even when brain damage occurs in an infant the brain often has a way of creating new pathways. The probability of an infant or small child to recover from something so traumatic is significantly higher than that of an adult.

Another positive experience occurred when two of my good friends visited. I believe it was the first day. Crew was hooked up to a high powered ventilator (I can’t remember what it was called). This loud machine was needed to force air into his little lungs and this caused Crew’s entire body to shake. Watching it was quite disturbing! My good friend, Cameo, commented that she imagined a host of angels surrounding his bed cheering him on. I had never thought of it like that before and so I really appreciated her comment.

On the weekends we were allowed to bring the other children with us. Being together with all of my boys was a special treat. They each got a chance to hold Crew and read more stories.

Over the next couple weeks Crew continued to improve. After 3 weeks, Crew was able to come home. His progress was steady and quick! We were thrilled. He came home without wires and without oxygen. I was breastfeeding him 100%. The day was a special one and I’ll never forget how happy I was to have him home just in time to celebrate my birthday.

The days of the NICU proved to be life changing emotionally and spiritually. I had several spiritual experiences that have altered who I am today. I know that during these hard times, we are not alone. I’m so thankful for that!

A BIRTH STORY- PART 2

I saw Dr. Nance for the last time on the afternoon of February 3, 2004. I went in for my weekly checkup. My blood pressure was normal, baby’s heartbeat was fine and I was dilated to 2 or 3. I went home. I felt fine.

On the morning of February 4, 2004 I awoke at 4:33 am. When I awoke suddenly and realized that I was feeling some pains, I was elated. I knew this was the day that our baby would be born. I went downstairs to play solitaire on the computer, hoping to pass some time. After about 1/2 hour I was feeling really uncomfortable so I went upstairs. I tried lying down in bed but the pain was so intense. I went into the bathroom to check for blood. Everybody knows that bleeding is a sign that something isn’t right and so I was happy to see that I wasn’t bleeding. I tried to lie down in bed again. I was having a hard time breathing and began to feel lightheaded. I made my way to the bathroom again to check… again nothing.

I woke Carl and told him I was in labor and that we needed to leave. I didn’t want to leave too early but the pain I was feeling was different. I hadn’t experienced it before. I tried timing the contractions but was unsuccessful. Carl got dressed and I asked him to grab the bag I had packed. I told him I would be waiting in the car and we really needed to leave. As he was grabbing the bag and his coat I started for the car. I was so incredible weak and shaky, lightheaded… I couldn’t walk, so I crawled. I crawled to the garage and got in the car. I remember that Carl got in and as we backed out of the driveway I looked at the clock in the car and it was 5:15 am.

The drive to UVRMC would normally take about 30 minutes. In an emergency, one could get there in probably 25 minutes. It took us 45 minutes! The drive was horrible! Snow was coming down… big fluffy snowflakes. It was white-out conditions and the free-way had not been plowed. We drove through several inches of newly fallen snow. I could feel the car sliding from time to time. I gripped the door handle in silence. I was scared! In my heart I knew that if we slid off the road, I would die. I remember commenting to Carl that I couldn’t figure how to time the contractions because I couldn’t tell when they would stop or start. My stomach was hard the entire trip. It felt like one long gigantic contraction.

Carl pulled up to the curb and I got out. He quickly parked the car. I told him I couldn’t walk that I needed a wheelchair. I couldn’t believe how wimpy I was acting! Within minutes we found ourselves upstairs at the Labor & Delivery check-in. We sat down and the nurse gave us the clipboards. She began asking me questions. She sensed that I was hurting and asked me how far apart the contractions were. I told her that I couldn’t tell when they stopped. She asked me a few more questions and then told us we could fill out the paperwork later. She sensed my discomfort. They gave me a gown and I quickly put it on and then requested that I be checked immediately.

The nurse came in and checked me. I was still dilated to a 2 or 3. The same as the day before! I couldn’t believe it! I thought for sure I would be like an 8 or something. Then she checked for the baby’s heartbeat. I immediately sensed her worry when she was unable to find it right away. After several seconds she was able to detect a heartbeat but it was very faint and quite slow. Within seconds there were about 6 – 10 medical staff surrounding my bed and moving stuff around. They wheeled me into the Operating Room and explained that we needed to do an emergency C-Section. People were scrambling around. They gave me an epidural and told me that normally it takes about 5-8 minutes to work but they would only give it 2 minutes. The nurse was prepping me to have the C-section and as she started applying the iodine stuff another staff member grabbed it from her and said “We don’t have that much time”, and he dumped the whole bottle onto my tummy. I looked at Carl and he was white. I mentioned to someone that I thought my husband was going to pass out. They told him to sit on the floor against the wall and someone threw him a sheet and pushed him over.

I was really scared but I tried to cooperate. I wanted them to get the baby out. Someone asked me if I was okay and I said, “Yes, I’m just worried about the baby”, and he said “You have a right to be!” Uggh! That wasn’t what I wanted to hear.

Six minutes after they had wheeled me into the OR my baby was born. Nobody said anything, and I didn’t hear the baby cry. They grabbed the baby and ran out of the room. I didn’t know what was going on and I was too afraid to ask. I didn’t even know if he was alive. I just layed there while they worked on me wondering what was going on. Finally, after what seemed like 5 minutes, somebody said, “Did you know if you were having a boy or a girl?” I said “No”, we wanted it to be a surprise and he said, “You have a beautiful baby boy but he is very sick right now”. They were working on him and that’s all I knew.

Crew was born at 6:11 AM, 7 lbs 8 oz., 20 inches long. Apgar score 3!

Once they opened me up it was easy to see what had gone wrong. I experienced a Grade 4 Placental Abruption, which is a complete abruption of the placenta. The placenta was covering the cervix which is the reason why I had zero bleeding. The blood had pooled up inside of me. Crew was with little or no oxygen from the time the placenta detached until he was born. I believe the placenta detached at home well before 5:00 AM which tells me one thing. Crew is meant to be here because his life cannot be justified medically. Crew is our Miracle!

I don’t know a lot about shock except I’m pretty sure I experienced it. They wheeled me into the NICU to see my baby. I couldn’t sit up and Crew was all hooked up to machines. All I could really see was his little feet. I felt so bad that he needed so much support. I was in denial.

They took me to my room. I don’t remember much about that first day. I do remember that I received phone calls galore and it was helpful to know that so many family and friends cared. I was so tired and it was a battle to keep my eyes open. I didn’t realize that first day the situation we were in. I kept expecting them to bring Crew to me. I don’t even remember if I went back to the NICU that day. I don’t think I did! Reports from NICU staff indicated that Crew would likely be taken off the respirator within the first 24 hours.

… (THE NICU) to be continued

A BIRTH STORY- MY CABOOSE, PART 1

After experiencing a miscarriage at 12 weeks and nearly a year of “trying”, we were thrilled to find that we were expecting. I discovered that I was pregnant at probably 4 weeks. I felt healthy. I was active. For the first time ever I had found a really great running partner… reliable, good company, etc. We had been running together for almost a year. My friend had always kept running throughout her first two trimesters. I wanted to follow her example and didn’t feel it was necessary to stop exercising all together. We kept running 3 times a week, about 3 miles each run nothing too strenuous, but just enough to feel good. At about 6 or 7 weeks, Carl and I stopped at his sisters for a quick visit. He pulled into the driveway and I got out of the car to check and see if they were home. As soon as I stood up, I felt a gush! I took one look at Carl and said, “We’ve got to go home”. We drove the 5 minutes back home and I went inside. After previously having a miscarriage, I was convinced that I was losing this baby. I called Dr. Nance and told him that I was having a miscarriage. He scheduled me for an ultrasound that day. When I went into the Dr’s office I was completely convinced that I had miscarried already. The ultrasound showed a live fetus. I couldn’t believe it! Dr. Nance sent me home with instructions to limit my activity for the next month.

Sitting around and being lazy was hard. It was early summer. I wanted to do all the fun active things that come with summer time. However, I followed the Dr.’s orders and kept my activity low. The follow-up appointment a month later showed that everything was okay. Dr. Nance gave me permission to resume normal activities. The rest of the pregnancy was uneventful. I didn’t have anymore bleeding and I felt really good for the most part. I was able to keep the weight down within reason (unlike baby #2).

With our first two boys, Carl and I found out the gender before the big day. In my heart I knew they were boys and the ultrasound simply confirmed my feelings. We decided with this pregnancy that we would wait until the Birth to find out. I imagined how exciting it would be to delivery this baby and have the Dr. announce “It’s a BOY or it’s a GIRL”! I love being the mom to boys yet having a girl would add a lot to a family of boys and so I was okay either way. To tell you the truth, I had no idea this time if I was having a boy or a girl. It was exciting!

Our baby was due February 12th, 2004. During this pregnancy, Carl experienced a company wide layoff. I’ve learned that blessings come in unusual ways because our being “unemployed” qualified myself and baby for Medicaid. I had never used Medicaid before and didn’t realize how having this insurance coverage would impact the life of our family. Carl was able to find employment with a company that required too many hours, too little pay and insurance after 90 days. I checked the calendar often realizing that the insurance would take effect February 1st. I hoped that I could make it that long so we would have “double” coverage. During the month of January, I often joked that this baby could come anytime after the 1st of February. January came and went. We invited my sister to stay with us so that “just in case” the baby came in the middle of the night we could pick up and leave without having to wait for somebody to come over. Little did I know that this decision, this one time saving element… would save my baby’s life!

... to be continued