Mels Thoughts and WhatNots

Communicating with Educators

2012-01-27T13:44:00.004-07:00

Crew's teacher this year is fairly new and I'm not sure how she feels about having Crew in her class. Additionally, we have somewhat of a face to face communication barrier between us as she is deaf and my ASL skills are limited. I have been in knots about the negative feedback we have been getting daily which is relayed through the bus driver and aide. I just don't think this is acceptable even with the communication barrier between us.

How would you handle a situation like this? When I ignore the problem it just seems to fester so decided to try to tackle it head on. I hope I didn't just shoot myself in the foot but here is the reply to the teachers email regarding my request for a parent/teacher/director meeting.

Tell me what you think? Should I just go crawl in a hole now?

Hi J.....! I really do appreciate the update. You have been so great with Crew and when I have stopped in at the school I am always pleased with how everyone interacts with Crew. I hope he is making progress enough that people feel like his time there is worthwhile. I'm happy to hear that he is getting around the school with various means (walker, wheelchair, bike). That is so appreciated especially during these cold months when I can't get him outside on his bike. Crew loves all of those activities including swimming and dance.

In my heart I know he is a very bright child. I can see the wheels turning when he works on chores at home, interacts with his ipad, and even watching cartoons. Developmentally, I am seeing some progress and it is such a delight! We are working hard at home to improve his nutrition and to provide a variety of activities to stimulate his mind and give him exercise. I know it is a lot of work (my body reminds me daily) but I hope it will pay off over time. Thank you for taking part in helping him find success during such a critical time in his life.

It is so hard having a child that cannot communicate. I do not know what he does at school, who he plays with or anything without communication between you and I. My main concern is that it has been a really long time since I have heard anything positive and as you can imagine that is very frustrating and hurtful. We try so hard not to use labels with Crew yet almost everyday I get reports that he is "indecisive" or "uncooperative" (relayed through the bus driver/aide). One big concern I have is that if this dialog takes place between adults at the school, I'm sure his other classmates are picking up on it. Our main goal with Crew's education is that he is accepted and loved. We want him to have a positive experience when he is away from the home and to feel good about himself. Please don't report any negative behavior with the bus driver and bus aide unless you are concerned that he is sick or unless he has had a seizure. They love him and go far beyond their job descriptions to provide a positive atmosphere. I want to keep it positive but when they bring him home they usually relay the information given to them about Crew's behavior and then the other kids on the bus pick up on it.

The best way to communicate with me other than phone is by email or text (xxx-xxx-xxxx). I appreciate your cooperation in this matter.

Warm regards,

Melanie

Same as Before

2012-01-17T15:01:00.003-07:00

So... I've been gone from blogging world for awhile! Yes, over a year!!! I think about all our little cyber friends often and hope all is well. Originally, I started blogging as a way to connect with other moms who are struggling with their little miracles. For many years it saved me... As I have watch the kids Crew's age who live locally progress and move on I am constantly reminded of how different our journey has been. But then to watch the micropreemies and other kids with challenges progress and surpass where we are it creates a different pang of discomfort. Why are we making such little progress? Is it something I've done wrong or not done well enough? How do I balance my time between 3 kids and still provide well enough for all of them.

Often times people will ask how Crew is doing. How do I answer that question? Sometimes I try to tell them that we are really struggling but is the truth really what they want to hear? Truth of the matter is... I've been gone for a year and quite honestly...we are the same as before. Struggling. Struggling to communicate, struggling to ambulate... and FRUSTRATED! The frustration isn't going to go away. I just need to learn how to manage it. We have seen multiple doctors, therapist, and tried many medications and it seems we are back to square one.

The last few months I have had numerous experiences that have caused me to reflect on where we are in this journey. It has been super hard. Knowing that this journey is a lifelong journey can be daunting but I am eternally grateful for the experiences I have had. I am not the same person I was eight years ago and I know that these experiences have molded me into a stronger person. I am also so grateful for the light that Crew brings into our home. He is a delightful little boy (when he is feeling well) and his contagious smile and infectious laughter is a blessing to our family. I know that our little family is together for a reason and all of us need each other. That may sound strange to some but it is what I know.

Hope to post some updates soon and get back into picture taking mode. Hugs to all!

Changes

2010-10-27T13:36:00.002-07:00

We moved Crew back to the Deaf School today! The past two months have been a roller coaster. We pulled Crew from his class after hearing reports of neglect. We've complained to the principal and also the director of Special Education and the sad thing is I doubt any changes will be made. It is so unfortunate that this teacher feels she is cut out for Special Education because she really should have nothing to do with children.

So Monday we had his IEP and decided to place him at USD again this year. I met the teacher and aide today and felt so grateful for the happy atmosphere there. It was short day today. I will drive him again tomorrow while they finalize transportation plans then he will be bussed.

Halloween is upon us! The pirate costume wasn't the plan for Crew but I accidentally grabbed the wrong size while shopping for H. Now that we have it I am pleased! Doesn't he make a cute pirate? Ahoy, there matey!

Sucky sucky SUCK

2010-10-07T19:40:00.004-07:00

My child is severely delayed. SUCKS!

My child isn't making progress. SUCKS!

I just moved my child school districts in hopes of helping him progress. New teacher SUCKS!

I don't think I can trust my instincts. I SUCK!

Crew has not brought home one thing from his class this year. Besides Resource, I haven't seen one stinkin' paper. No art project, no crafts, no coloring cutting or pasting. Crew has not played on the playground equipment at school even ONCE! The teacher has actually parked him in the hall for screaming (which he does when he needs attention or when he is excited).

Not only is he non-verbal but I get rewarded with a handful of hair, a slap in the face, teeth in my flesh....

Oh yeah, and a million kisses when the day is done and again at the start:) I don't know who is more confused... MOM or CHILD.

Summer

2010-07-25T21:44:00.002-07:00

It's seriously been so long since I've posted that even I was wondering if I was done! This is the first summer that I've worked during the same hours as Carl. It's been an adjustment leaving the kids home alone. Well.... Crew has respite care about 50% of the time but the older boys are doing their own thing when they aren't taking care of brother.

The boys have been really good. I leave them with their job lists and they always get it done before I get home. We've really taken it easy this summer.. no sports. Just scouting and piano for S and therapy for Crew. H has literally taken a huge step back from playing sports. He graduated from the Cub Scout program early so at this point we are just waiting for him to turn eleven so he can start up with scouting again.

Struggling.... yes, we've really been struggling with Crew-- literally! When he is happy he is absolutely delightful but then we have this other little boy who comes out frequently. This other boy is a fighter, a screamer and he is frustrated. So frustrated in fact that I have the bruises to prove it and hair loss too! It really is becoming a huge problem. We dread taking him out in public so much that we avoid it at all costs. If I have to go somewhere, I usually take S to sit with him in the car while I run in to do my errands. We can't make it through church, the movies, or an outing for icecream. It really is interesting. I keep reminding myself that this is the same little fighter that survived a birth without oxygen, 7 days on a respirator, and six-years of rehabilitation. We have many more to go.... I keep hoping to stretch those happy moments out a bit. (Picture taken on the 4th of July while driving through smoke bombs)

Awwww....

2010-05-10T20:09:00.001-07:00

Love these moments... S sharing his brand new ipod with little bro!

California Trip 2010

2010-05-09T16:05:00.009-07:00

I think this is the first year that we actually left Utah for spring break. Disneyland and the beach is something I've been wanting to do for a few years now. Disneyland was a first for my kids and neither Carl or I had been in over 20 years.

We got the 3-day park hopper pass for Disneyland and California Adventure, spent one day at the beach and surprised the boys with Angels tickets on the last day.

While planning this trip we went back and forth many times trying to decide... do we take Crew with us or leave him with family. We weighed all the pro's and con's and really tried to think what Crew would want. Leaving him behind is tough because the family isn't complete and we miss him terribly but the truth is that he wouldn't have enjoyed the majority of this trip.

Our respite plan is set up so we can get just that, "respite". We decided that not only did we need the little vacation but the older boys could really use some one-on-one with us.

Our day at Huntington beach was beautiful! It was warm with kind of a crazy breeze. We walked out on the pier, collected seashells, went swimming and simply just laid around.

I don't know what it would be like to take really little children to Disneyland but I was appreciating the fact that my kids were bigger. They really had a good time. Our feet got so tired walking around all day, I can't imagine dragging a young one along.

Now that we have been and know what to expect we are planning how to take Crew along and have it be a good experience for him. I think we will wait a couple more years. It sure would be nice to fly next time and stay in one of the hotels right next to the park.

Can't wait to do it again!

My Birthday

2010-03-25T12:51:00.006-07:00

The kids actually spent my birthday at Grandma's. This picture was taken a day early. I worked the morning of my birthday and then Grandma came and picked up H and Crew. Stockton headed off with his scout group for an overnight camp out.

Carl took me to the city where we met up with friends for my first ever Korean BBQ. It's been a long time since we've gone out with the friends and we really had a great time. The company was awesome and the food pretty good too;)Afterwards, we stayed the night at the Hilton. The next morning was the most memorable part of the weekend. Carl and I got up and drove to Memory Grove Park where we headed up City Creek Canyon for a run. The temps were low enough that we had to bundle up but were warm enough once we got moving. We ran a total of 10 miles. As you can see from this chart, the first 5 miles were uphill. Good times!

Phenol Injections

2010-03-19T09:18:00.011-07:00

The past month has been crazy around here. The day after Crew's birthday we headed down to Primary's for phenol injections. We've done the botox several times but it just hasn't been making a huge difference so we decided to try phenol. With the phenol you have to be sedated. It was a very minor procedure. They checked us in and we waited in this boring room for about an hour... no magazines, no windows, no toys. I was really feeling sorry for those who have to spend very much time in the hospital.

Once they took Crew back we waited about 15 minutes before we got to see him. He did really well recovering from the sedation. Once he was eating and drinking they sent us home. The nurse got a kick out of Crew's passion for cheetos. He wouldn't take his eyes off the cheetos and the bag was gone within a few minutes. This was great for us because we were discharged quickly.

Phenol was injected into his hamstrings and adductors. Botox was injected into his hamstrings and gastrocs. I had no idea how much the spasticity in his adductors was limiting him until it was reduced. We are seeing a huge improvement in Crew's mobility. Not sure how long it will last so we've been doing lots of walking and physical therapy since.

Little man likes to dress himself;) His shoe fettish usually involves dress shoes and quite often chooses non matching shoes. I got a kick out of the "two left feet" on this particular day. What I will do to keep him happy! *sigh*

6th Birthday

2010-02-04T22:19:00.002-07:00

Today has been a very very good day. Crew woke up with a smile on his face and it has stayed there all day.

At his school they combined all three preschool classes for a birthday celebration. I sent ice cream. As soon as I opened the door to get him out of the van, his little friend turned to me and signed, "Ice cream at school today". Well, at least thats what I got out of it with my limited ASL knowledge;)

We did the "tie the balloons to powerchair" tradition and let him parade back and forth through the cul-de-sac. Its my way of letting my non-verbal child shout out, "HEY EVERYBODY, LOOK AT ME... IT'S MY BIRTHDAY TODAY" which is what I think he would say.

Today was a beautiful sunny day... dry roads and clear skies. Completely opposite of the day Crew was born SIX years ago. So unlike the blizzard conditions that nearly cost us our lives on February 4, 2004. It's impossible to celebrate a day like today and not think about it. I do get sad when I think about all that we've been through but today hasn't been like that much. I feel so much gratitude for having Crew in our family. Gratitude for the sweet spirit and light he brings into our lives. Gratitude for all that I've learned on this journey. Gratitude for the person this experience has molded me into. It has made me stronger and more sure of myself. I don't take the little things for granted. Every little noise or gesture he makes is noticed. I've learned a language not taught in books or in school, a language that can only be learned by living it. His eyes, facial expressions and body language speak volumes. It isn't a language we learn by choice but necessity. I'm so grateful for his hugs and his kisses.

Crew, it's been a great six years. I can't wait to see what the next six will bring. Oh, but not too fast little buddy...

Snowbasin Dew Tour

2010-02-01T13:33:00.003-07:00

A couple weeks ago we went to Snowbasin to watch the Dew Tour. This was my first time visiting Snowbasin other than the night we ran the Wasatch Back. Most of our state has been stuck in an inversion. The ski resort was high enough that we climbed right out of the inversion and into the sun. It was so nice to spend a few hours in the sun. Seriously, I think these long Utah winters can really get to you!

The event was completely free... we even got to ride the high-speed quad up to the half pipe. We climbed up and stood to the side of the half pipe. It was really neat watching the skiers fly up over our heads.

I couldn't believe how many people were totally unprepared for the snow. Probably 90% of women had on Uggs or some knock off or another. Those boots totally suck in the snow and ice. LOL. I really got a kick out of watching these women struggle to climb the hill. Gosh, that really makes me sound cruel doesn't it! Every single time these boots would either cause her to cling to the makeshift fence for dear life or slide down on their backsides.

The boys walked away with lots of free samples... this and that- Beef jerky, Utah Ski stickers, pizza rolls, chapstick.

This guy flew up over our heads and said "hey" when he saw us standing there. Totally cracked us up!

Sheesh, If we had known this giant chipmunk was going to be there we would have totally brought Crewzer along with us. LOL. At least he's warm;)

IEP goals and other random facts

2010-01-10T18:38:00.004-07:00

Crew had his annual IEP last Friday! I feel quite good about his IEP team. The PT and OT were there, audiology, speech, special education teacher, and a representative from our home school district. Everyone seems to have Crew's best interest in mind. Creating goals and finding the best fit can be a challenge as each year creates a larger span between him and his peers.

I hate putting it in writing but part of being real is facing the facts... Crew is testing 1 year 9 months in language! This score included sign, verbal, eye gaze, and eyebrow movement as language response.

Crew will be SIX in a few weeks.

*sinking heart*

The school audiologist had another scare for us. At the most recent hearing test, results showed a profound loss in Crew's right ear which means he basically did not respond.

*gulp* and *breathe*

When this was brought to my attention I tried to joke around a bit... "I've been talking in the wrong ear", I said. It wasn't funny.

On a positive note, there is a good chance Crew just wasn't in the mood to be tested. He may have been ignoring the sounds, just because. Sometimes Crew folds in half or shuts down when he isn't happy about something. I'm thinking this is probably what happened but there is always the fear that his hearing loss will continue to progress. More tests will be done again soon.

We elected to keep Crew in the deaf school for another year. I will post his 2010 goals here later this week.

SNOW CONES?

2010-01-05T16:56:00.009-07:00

Keeping Crew entertained over the holidays was interesting. I didn't feel well and he didn't either. We've both had this horrible cold for almost 2 weeks.

One morning I went out and scooped up some fresh snow, brought it in the house and we played. At first Crew wouldn't touch the snow. He is very sensitive in the sensory department. By the time we were finished he was chucking handfuls of snow at everybody. Good times!

Extended

2010-01-03T20:39:00.005-07:00

The truth of the matter is... I really enjoy spending time with our extended families. Unfortunately for me, it seems we spend less and less time with them as the kids get older. Without getting into the details of "why not", I do want to document the time spent with both Carl's family and mine. The day after Christmas we traveled down south to spend time with Carl's family where we celebrated Christmas and his parents 50th wedding Anniversary. On the 29th, we traveled north to celebrate with my parents, siblings, nieces and nephews. Both parties were a lot of fun and I really enjoyed being together.

Here is a random mixture of family pics from both parties:

Long Time

2009-11-29T22:20:00.004-07:00

In 3 1/2 years this is the longest I've gone between blog posts. I really kind of miss the bloggy world. We are doing well....

S is enjoying school this year, just finished the first trimester. Currently he is working on his science project, "How Does Caffeine Affect Blood Pressure?" The results will be interesting. We need to find young boys whose parents are okay with them consuming 24 ounces of Diet Dr. Pepper in an hour.

H has been blessed again this year with a great teacher. He is enjoying cursive writing and outside of school is working on his Arrow of Light award. Arrow of Light is the highest award you can earn in the Cub Scout program. We are well on our way and his birthday isn't until August.

Crew is still attending the deaf school. We are seeing some progress with him not only in sign but also Pre-Speech sounds. Lately, he has taken more of an interest in books... a little less chewing and stacking... Oh, I think he finally realized there are pictures on the page. LOL. We are FRUSTRATED in the sleeping department. Every night I end up with him in his bed which consists of a crappy mattress on the floor. My back hurts so bad in the morning and my hands are usually completely numb. The other alternative is to get up with him 3 or 4 times a night so I finally caved and just started sleeping with him once he wakes the first time. It seems Crew has outgrown his AFO's again. We are going for an overdue visit with the PT on Tuesday. I'm hoping he will be able to adjust the braces somehow.

The Thanksgiving holiday was great. Carl's family came for the day. We had 22 people in my little house. We don't get to spend much time with them so it was well worth the effort.

I'm still running nearly every day. The last few weeks have started getting pretty cold... sub 20's. I realized this year that I've enjoyed November a lot more since I started running. You never know what weather you will get in November and its kind of exciting. One morning I actually came back home and changed into shorts, some mornings are freezing, windy, sometimes ice. It's an adventure that reminds me to get out and live and one of the few things that helps me get through the day.

Crutches

2009-10-20T13:52:00.003-07:00

Somebody sure is having fun!

A History of Sorts...

2009-09-29T19:21:00.007-07:00

During the first 12 hours of Crew's life the NICU staff noted his first seizure. I was notified the next morning, and to tell you the truth, I really doubted that what they were telling me was true. Carl asked specifically what they witnessed and they said "his eyes flickered". Immediately he was started on an anti-seizure medication. I always questioned whether or not it was necessary.

After a year he was seizure free and we took him off the medication. Things were good for a long while but by the time he turned TWO he was having hundreds of myoclonic seizures each day. The seizures were only 1 - 3 seconds each. The neurologist suggested keeping him off the meds so long as the seizures weren't putting him in danger or slowing his development. I kind of chuckle inside now thinking about that statement. I mean, after all... we are dealing with a child who suffered a hypoxic ischemic injury at birth. Of course there will be delays and I have no way of knowing how much the seizures have contributed to that, if at all.

The avoidance of medication came to an end after he suffered yet another "type" of seizure... his first grand mal in October of 2006. Since then, the seizures have been controlled with some break through seizures every 6 months to a year.

The past two weeks we have seen a change in that pattern. His seizures are becoming much too common around here. A blood draw yesterday... and today I'm waiting for a call from the neurologist. I've discussed the situation with our pediatrician here. So far it looks like we will have to introduce some new medication but I'm waiting to hear what the neurologist has to say.

I'm not quite sure what point I'm trying to get at here. Normally I can go along with this crazy life and be just fine but the last two days have been tough. I can't think about it without getting upset. Yesterday, I cried during my 5:00 am run and it had nothing to do with my knee:)

Labor Day Weekend

2009-09-24T15:15:00.006-07:00

It's been two years since we've been to Powell. We've been looking forward to it all summer. I thought it odd that we waited all summer to go and then 3 days after school started I pulled my kids out for a vacation. Well, that is the week we had for our houseboat so there you go!

This year we didn't take a powerboat. Instead we had 3 wave runners. This was great for taking the kids out on short rides. Taking the wave runners out in the main channel during the day was crazy. It was so choppy, therefore a really rough ride. Carl and Crew went out for a long explore and Crew fell asleep. He loved every minute of those rides but it sure did wear him out.

Lake Powell is great for just taking it easy. The weather was perfect... not too hot or cold.

One of our favorite things to do is sleep out under the stars on the top of the houseboat. One night we had a few raindrops but other than that it was perfect.

The boys loved fishing this year. There's nothing like sitting on the back deck hour after hour... at least that's what they say:)

Keeping Crew entertained was quite the physical undertaking. He either wanted to be riding the wave runner, swimming, hiking or eating junk food. By the time we came home I was ready for another chiropractor treatment. This is due partly to the lack of running, packing Crew, and sleeping on a crappy foam mattress. I cringe even typing the word "mattress" because it really doesn't qualify as that. Sheesh, I must really be getting old.

Great water temps. I crammed in my long run (17 miles) the night before we left. I knew I wouldn't have a chance to run there so my jogging belt became my friend once again. I got in the water a couple different times and ran and ran until I was extremely bored. You really don't go very fast or far when deep water running.

Crew seemed to be a little more comfortable in the water with his dad. Daddy's boy!

Hunter knee boarding in the main channel. Crazy kid!

Oops... don't forget to go home with a picture of myself! This is the only one;)

MY THREE

2009-09-10T19:36:00.003-07:00

I can't believe here we are starting another school year. Its kind of sad that they are growing up so fast and then again.... I'm just loving this time with them. Stockton is a 7th grader, Hunter in 5th, and Crew, my preschooler. Three boys, three different schools, two different school districts. Crew is bussed to another school district where they can better accommodate his needs. All three are gone by 7:30 in the morning and then I'm off to work my 4 hour shift.

Yesterday I met with Crew's teacher. She is new this year and it is her first year teaching but I'm so excited to have her. Crew has been happy so far. He is imitating many signs during class and at home. The kids in his class are interacting well with him... helping push his walker (not necessarily a good thing though;), bringing him toys, etc. Two years of preschool already but I really feel like this year is OUR YEAR! Please don't quote me on that:)

Stockton seems to be much happier this year at his school. He comes home with a heavy backpack everyday... daily math and science homework but he does the work efficiently and then he is off to play. We are looking for a new piano teacher for him this year.

Hunter and school don't necessarily get along. We are working on getting him on a better schedule. He just wants to sleep in... never did that in the summer though. They've been brushing up on their cursive writing this year and I have to say I'm impressed. His writing looks really nice.

The days are definitely getting shorter which is sad to see... but then again it does help that its dark when bedtime rolls around. I have my scheduled 20 miler for Saturday morning and a RS Lesson to prepare. I should probably get some shut eye.

Preschool

2009-08-25T11:28:00.003-07:00

Crew started another year of preschool yesterday. Even though he is old enough for kindergarten we decided to send him to the deaf preschool again. We are hoping this year will give him a better communication base before he starts kindergarten.

So far, I can already see the situation is so much better this year. Last year we had problems with fatigue. The day was too long. The school reported that studies have shown the preschool kids don't benefit from a full day. Really, I could have told them that! So, they have decreased the preschool day to only 4 hours. This is still longer than the 1/2 day kindergarten students. Another plus is that Crew will be the last one picked up and the first one dropped off so the transportation time has been reduced significantly. Last year he was the first one picked up and last dropped off. This year they are sending a van (instead of the bus) to pick him up. He rides with 3 other deaf children and they are all so sweet and adorable.

The ride home is just Crew and one other deaf preschooler. How nice!

It's been hard seeing the other neighbor kids his age get ready for kindergarten. They are so excited. They know their colors and letters and can write their names. What a huge contrast to just wanting child to be able to make a simple request like, "water please!".

Carl gave Crew a fathers blessing on Sunday night. We try to do that every year before school starts. Crew folded his arms the whole time and was just so happy. Afterwards we all gave him a hug and when it was my turn he squealed with excitement. I love the way the spirit touches him:)

Most of the time I don't quite know what Crew is thinking. We tried to tell him that he would be going off to school but until we walked outside with the backpack and his walker I don't think he had any idea. He was so excited while we were outside waiting so I do think that at least he knew something EXCITING was happening.

The teacher reports he had a good first day! He came home happy... and that is really something:)

Provo River 1/2 Marathon

2009-08-19T16:12:00.007-07:00

We haven't been to Bridal Veil Falls since the boys were just little. Its such a beautiful time of year up the canyon and we really enjoyed a weekend away.

The whole purpose of this trip was to run the Provo River 1/2 Marathon. I've been looking forward to it since I registered last March. Unfortunately, my ITB issue kept me from running it. It was just going to be S, Carl and I running but since I wasn't participating we brought H along too!

I drove Carl and S to the buses early in the morning like 5 AM. They were bussed to the start line. The race didn't start until after 7 so they were up there for awhile trying to stay warm. We had an unusually cold weekend for August.

H and I didn't show up at the finish line until a little after 8. We got to see the first place finishers cross the line. I always get a tad bit emotional at races. Racing has been in my blood since high school. Plus, knowing my 12 year old was out there running 13.1 miles just adds to those emotions. It was hard not participating but it was good to spend time with H.

Carl and S stayed together for the 1st mile and then S pulled ahead. I was worried about him running alone. I didn't know if he would be able to pace himself well enough to have something left at the end. We waited at the 13 mile marker and when he came around the corner I was so excited. He looked good and strong and he was. S finished with a PR of 1:54:04. I was trying to find S in all the crowds and I missed Carl finishing in just over 2 hours. It was his 1st half marathon and I think he was pleased with his time. Both of them had a good experience. They said the course was beautiful and very much downhill.

Double Digits

2009-08-19T04:55:00.005-07:00

I can't believe this guy is 10 years old already! Every birthday brings back the fond memories of H's birth. The labor and delivery were a breeze compared to the other two. I'll never forget the first words out of the nurse's mouth, "He has a full head of hair and a dimple". Ah yes, we were in love!

H brings much fun and laughter to our home. He is a joyful boy, carefree, and quick to forgive.

As of late, H has been the one who can get Crew calmed down at bedtime. Often I am too exhausted (and there is still so much to do by nightfall) that I am unable to spend the time getting Crew to sleep. H will take Crew into the bedroom and go through a nighttime ritual where they talk to Mickey Mouse and wrestle before laying down to sleep. I don't know how he does it but its working for him.

All H really wanted this year was to have a sleepover with his 3 best friends. These 4 boys play together all the time so it is really no big deal to have them over. They watched "Twilight" and "Bedtime Stories", jumped on the tramp and had cake and icecream. I love low key parties, yes I do!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAMMER!

Goodbye July

2009-07-31T12:41:00.010-07:00

Once again, another one of my favorite summer months has come to an end. My lack of blogging truly is an indication of how busy summers can be. What happened to the carefree days of summer anyway?

The boys and I have enjoyed the pool several times, a Bee's game, 3 baseball games a week, fireworks, a race or two and lots of Popsicles.

We've seen a change in Crew this past month. His moods are all over the place... giggling from deep within one minute and a full blown tantrum the next. That boy is one passionate kid! I see an adorable boy who only wants one thing... to DO and BE what the other boys are. Like I've said before it takes the whole family and then some to be his legs and arms, his voice. We are all exhausted by noon day and then there are still so many hours to go...

The nights are out of control. He is up 4 or 5 times a night now climbing out of his bed and fumbling around in the dark. He screams and cries and then we go through the whole calming routine to get him to sleep again only to have him wake up as I gently "try" to sneak back to my room. I can get by with 6 hours of sleep but 4 or 5 is really pushing it.

With his passion comes a drive that we haven't seen before. Crew is trying to get up (vertical) all the time now. I can proudly say that Crew officially learned to "pull to stand" this month. He has done it multiple times. The first time it happened I was making dinner. He was in one of his bad moods and I was doing my best to ignore him. Finally, I turned around and there he was standing up!!! One hand was gripped tightly to the arm rest, the rest of his body in flex mode and he was screaming! Startled, I said something like, "Oh, Crew look at you standing up, Look how big you are" as I quickly rushed to his aid. Instantly he started to giggle and then he beamed, so proud!

What will August bring?

H2O FUN

2009-07-15T16:16:00.006-07:00

Lucky for me, all 3 boys LOVE the water! It didn't start this way though. I remember when S was 5 years old. I had him signed up for a beginners swim class and I was in a Parent/tot class with H. After the first 2 days I was really frustrated because the teachers weren't able to coax S into the water. I pulled the teacher aside and told her that when I signed him up I specifically asked which class would be appropriate for a child that is scared of the water and this is where they wanted him. If I recall correctly, I politely stated that either they get him in the water that day (which was the 3rd day of class) or I wanted my money back. Needless to say he came home wet that day. On the way home we stopped at Kmart to look at bikes. I bribed S to complete the class willingly and in return I would buy him a bicycle. LOL. Can you believe I was so desperate!!! Good times. Last summer I noticed a special needs kiddo taking lessons with this guy. I asked the manager (my neighbor) about it and she said he had done that for several years. "Would he take Crew?", I asked, "Oh, and how much?". I thought it would be really expensive to have a private lesson but she said he just likes doing it and they would only charge me the same as a group lesson. Wow! We got him signed up this year and he loved every minute of it. It's such great exercise for Crew, he has fun and then takes a NAP. Couldn't get any better than that!
Here is the boy that once wouldn't get near the water. This is his first time taking the diving class. The teacher said he's never had a kid progress so fast. The first day S had never really dived before and by the end of the class he was so close to completing a 150 front flip. The guards were really excited about it!

3rd day of class... perfecting the dive.

H had a fun time this year too! Like Crew, H has never feared water. Swimming lessons are great in that each kid can progress at their own rate, its really low key and tons of fun. It looks like H is starting to favor those individual sports and that's okay with me:)

Lovin' these LONG summer days!

2009-06-30T14:12:00.006-07:00

Newton Dam

2009-06-26T19:52:00.008-07:00

My brother was in from Texas for his MIL's funeral. I didn't get to spend a lot of time with him due to the circumstances but we did have a few hours at the reservoir.

My cute Texan nephew, Jack. Isn't he adorable!

Another cute nephew! Aren't 3 year olds fun???

Grandma with my littlest niece.

Niece, Celie, also from TX. She is just a couple months younger than Crew.

Crew, blowing kisses! He loved the wave runners. Loved it, loved it, loved it!

Grandpa, just a week after knee surgery. Crazy guy!

Beautiful, youngest sister Dar!

H, looking so grown up! He sure knows how to have fun and loves playing with all those cousins. We missed S this week as he was away at scout camp for 6 days!!! He had a good time and earned 5 merit badges.

Summer is going by way to fast!

In my Garden (June 2009)

2009-06-26T15:54:00.007-07:00

This month has been filled with a lot of cloudy skies and RAIN! The sunny days have been far and few between which has been a little disappointing for me. I live for this time of year! Fortunately, the rain has produced some beauties for us to enjoy. Long live the summer;)

If you're interested

2009-06-25T17:54:00.004-07:00

Since I started running more I realized that the one thing I like ALMOST as much as running is talking about it or reading about others experiences. This can be particularly annoying to a lot of people. Consequently, I've decided I'm going to keep the content of this blog "Mels Thoughts", geared more towards the happenings of our little family.

If you so desire to follow my running journey you will want to bookmark this link:

Comments are always welcome!

AIR SHOW

2009-06-11T20:32:00.008-07:00

I'm a little slow getting this post up... We were lucky enough to enjoy the HAFB Air Show the day before it was available to the public. Crew's school was invited for disability day. We met at the local high school where we were to board the buses and ride onto base. However, because of his wheelchair they let us drive onto the base and right up to the flight line (we were accompanied by a very nice military guy). What a blessing it was to have our vehicle with us! Crew was TERRIFIED right from the start. Even with the ear plugs, hands over his ears and a blanket over his head he was still quite hysterical for at least an hour. We were able to sit in the van and calm him down. It rained off and on and so once again having our van with us was a huge benefit.
The rest of us thoroughly enjoyed the show. We haven't taken S since he was ONE which means H has never been to an air show before.

Funny thing is we had a miscommunication about the starting time. We arrived 4 hours early. Doh. We used Carl's base pass to kill time at the batting cages and some racquetball too. Oh man, was a I sore afterward!

Seize the Day

2009-06-09T19:02:00.005-07:00

The neighbor boy brought over this awesome sprinkler! Come to find out, they are Super hard to find and because of supply and demand they run about $250 on ebay. Go figure!

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY

2009-06-02T21:00:00.003-07:00

Oh, To Run

2009-05-27T20:07:00.006-07:00

The last couple weeks I've really struggled with my training. My right knee has been bothering me... Iliotibial Band Syndrome, I believe. I hobbled through the half marathon... it wasn't too bad. I just took it slow and enjoyed the scenery.

Over the past month, I've seen a sports dr./chiropractor 4 or 5 times. I've stretched, rolled and iced twice a day. I've also been applying something called Volatrol Gel which is like putting Ibuprofen right on the spot. Monday's run was very discouraging. I was in pain nearly the entire 5 miles. Carl has me taking Glutamine for muscle recovery and TriFlex Sport which supports joint mobility and helps rebuild cartilage (I copied that right from the bottle... I'm so smart).

At the race expo I learned how to tape my knee with the Kinesio tape. I'm a firm believer in the KT tape. We used it for several years on Crew to facilitate muscles in his hands and arms. I saw good results. For sports injuries you can also use the tape to relax the muscle. The difference is in how you apply the tape. Crew's PT spent some time with me last week showing me how to tape common running injuries.

Tonight before my run, I taped my knee. I ran 3.5 miles of hills with NO PAIN. It was very exhilarating to be out there running pain free for the first time in weeks. I could feel that my knee isn't 100% healed but it felt so so much better than earlier this week and I could run!

3.5 miles/30 minutes/8:44 average pace

I can live with that!

CREATE

2009-05-26T20:46:00.004-07:00

When it comes to blogging, I love reading the crafty blogs. I'm a serious lurker! I always want to try something new but my life just doesn't seem to allow it...
I feel overwhelmed most of the time and starting any project of significance just doesn't seem possible. I was looking around at my house thinking I haven't done anything creative in like FOREVER. To my left and through an open door I saw this wall! Yes, yes, yes, I AM creative!
About a month ago my sisters came and took care of my children while I painted. This wall turned out great! I LOVE IT! I used 3 shades of blue and 2 shades of brown. Now, if I could just purchase the blinds:)

Confession

2009-05-22T07:37:00.001-07:00

Sometimes I feed Crew his dinner while he is in the bathtub... because on that particular day, it may be the only distraction that works. the end.

It's addicting

2009-05-17T20:29:00.002-07:00

Sorry for yet another running post! I can't help myself.

Ogden 1/2 Marathon: Great friends, Gorgeous scenery, Beautiful Day. Can't wait until next year:)

Just a quick update

2009-05-12T21:03:00.004-07:00

First of all, I want to say "thanks" to my readers (all 5 of you) for your concern, thoughts and prayers on behalf of Crew. Who would've known it would be such a rough year yet we are constantly blessed having Crew in our lives.

I'm going to try and address some of the current happenings with Crew.

Powerchair: The powerchair that was donated to us back in December... then totalled by the airline is now being fixed. The airline paid out for damages but we found out our cost to adapt the chair for Crew was going to be $1600.00. This is the cost of a joystick and a seat cushion. The child who had the chair before us didn't use a joystick. He drove it with a headpiece and the seat is too large for Crew. Consequently, we decided it might be in our best interest to purchase the demo chair instead. The demo chair fits Crew perfectly and since that particular chair is being discontinued we could get it for a good price. Now, we are going through the grueling process of getting insurance to purchase the chair.

Preschool: The move to the deaf school has been good for Crew. His sign language has picked up and he is making progress. The hours are long and that has been a legitimate concern. He is gone all day and when he comes home he is exhausted. It's all I can do to keep him happy until bedtime. On the other hand, the school change has been tough because we don't have as much time with him to work on PT.

Mobility: His hamstrings are very very tight and I'm having quite a time finding time to stretch him. We realized the other day that he isn't crawling anymore. He can still do it if you coax him but instead of roaming the house like he use to, he just sits there and cries until you pick him up. I really don't know if his wheelchair injury is keeping him from moving around or if its just the tight hamstrings. At our last botox appt., we had injections in his gastrocs but not his hamstrings. I think that might have been a mistake.

Social: The last few days have been a pick-me-up as I've seen his mood improve immensely. Crew has been so snuggly and showers us with hugs and kisses constantly. I'm so thankful for this! Outside of family, Crew's social life consists of adults... his PT, his teacher, my friends. It pains me knowing the other neighborhood children are participating in playdates and he is obviously excluded. Crew doesn't even respond when they say "hello" so naturally his circle of friends is basically non-existent. The twins (2-years old) are so sweet to him... I just wish we could develop some basic social skills.

Health: We haven't seen any seizures for two weeks now. Crew is rebuilding his strength since his injury and I hope to see more walking in the future. I am diligently trying to get the constipation under control. It's been really bad and we are using Miralax, Ducolax, Senekot, and enema's. I feel so bad. His eating habits are horrible. He lives off of oatmeal, potatoes, yogurt, pancakes, and eggs. He won't drink juice and fruits/veggies are out of the question with the exception of some occasional applesauce. Most of his food aversions have to do with sensory issues. He is so grossed out by the texture of foods. I'm very worried about his eating. It's frustrating and stressful. It takes an enormous amount of time to feed him and cannot be accomplished without games and distractions. Getting his food and meds down him before the bus comes has been quite the task!

Keep us in your prayers. Love you all!

This Makes Me SMILE

2009-05-08T21:27:00.006-07:00

Before the race...

"Running 4 The Kids" again. 100% of race proceeds go to Primary Children's Hospital. We decided to include the whole family this year.

S got another 5K personal record (23:54). I'm not sure I can keep up with that anymore!

H also did really well but he was having some abdominal pain quite likely due to the late night birthday party the previous night. We stuck together... rain and all!

My first time racing with the jogger. I'll tell ya, it was tough. The stroller naturally veers to the right and my knee was quite tender from Friday's long run.

The rain didn't start until we were into the run so there was no turning back. Not that I would've...

Nearly everyone that passed us commented they wished to trade places with Crew. He was lucky enough to be somewhat shielded from the rain but when we crossed the finish I realized his jeans were soaked. A spectator was kind enough to take these pictures and while they aren't the clearest, if you look close you will see Crew's GRIN. He is loving this!

Pictures aren't in order... Carl crossed the finish while it was just starting to drizzle. I believe he got a PR also but I'm not quoting any times here;)
After the race... huddling together hoping for a prize!

Growing up

2009-05-05T20:41:00.004-07:00

Sunday was definitely a day to remember. S graduated from Primary and received his "Faith in God" award. The highlight was S getting ordained by his father. I know he is ready for this transition. I'm constantly amazed at what this kid knows and understands. It will be a huge blessing for all of us to have another priesthood holder in the home. The spirit was strong and I will never forget the feeling.

All the grandparents were there which meant a lot to us. Crew was having one of his moments so Brother Ames stayed out in the hall with him. I can't believe S is in Young Mens now.... where has the time gone?

For more about what we believe go here. For specifics about the priesthood look here.

Seizures and an Injury

2009-04-29T20:18:00.003-07:00

It's been crazy around here. On Saturday, Crew was playing soccer in his powerchair and somehow his lapbelt came undone. His foot caught on the wheel and as he is falling out of the chair he instinctively holds onto the joystick to keep from falling. So, as you can visualize he basically ran over himself. I worried all weekend that something was broken and he has a very large bruise (about 6 inches long) up his right leg. His foot is swollen. His PT suggested x-rays since he isn't able to verbalize and could have decreased feeling in his feet (due to the CP).

On my way home from therapy he started seizing. It confirmed my suspisions of other seizure activity on the way to therapy. Carl took us to the ER where they gave Crew an IV with valium, checked his blood levels, x-rayed his foot and leg (while sedated on valium) and sent him home. His valproic acid levels are in the upper therapeutic range which indicates something else may be going on. The neuro was contaced and we've increased his dose for now.

Today he was suppose to be at school but I decided to spend the day with him. I can't tell you how thankful I was to be with him when he needed me.

I'm tired.

SLC 5K and Half Marathon

2009-04-22T17:23:00.006-07:00

THE 5K:
H didn't decide until the night before to run the 5K. Carl had already prepared mentally to run hard so we thought it wouldn't hurt to ask Grandma to run with H. If you know my mom it isn't a surprise to hear that she agreed to do this.

Since I was running the 1/2, I wasn't able to watch them run but Carl finished in time to snap a couple photos. Grandma said H ran the whole way. H's response, "Grandma walks as fast as I run". Nothing like honesty:)

We are so proud of H and Grandma. This is H's 2nd 5K and Grandma's 1st. We promised H he could walk if he wanted to but apparently his adrenalin kicked in. Maybe the cheering spectators got the best of him, I don't know but we are PROUD! I love it that he is a runner now!

Grandma claims her only training consisted of a recliner and a remote but truly she is a natural athlete.

THE HALF MARATHON:
This was a 2nd for me and a 1st for S. We stayed in the Marriott and got up early to catch the shuttle. We left the hotel at about 5AM and visited with some of the other runners as we were waiting for the shuttle. We met several really cool people. The bus dropped us off across from Primary Children's Hospital (been there a few times) and we walked down to the start line. We had a lot of time to kill. We ate our PB and honey sandwiches and banana. We watched the Bike Tour start and then the Early start Marathoners. Finally, it was our turn and the gun went off exactly at 7. There were thousands of runners and it took us 3 minutes before we even crossed the start line. The first few miles were very conjested and it likely slowed us down some. S and I had a really great time pretty much the whole way. We loved the bands, random choirs, and the cheering spectators! It was a dream come true to be doing something I love with my son. He didn't grumble once. I can't tell you how amazing I think that is!

By the time we got down to Liberty Park we were really starting to feel it. I re-fueled with Gu and S ate some Sports Jelly Beans and a bite of his Cliff bar. That seemed to help and the next couple miles were a blur. When we hit the hill on State street I was tired. I told S we were going to call dad at mile 12 and walk for just a few seconds but he said, "NO MOM". Uggh! The hill was tough and just before I crested the hill I dialed Carl's cell. It was all I could do to mutter, "Mile 12" and hang up. Hitting the top of the hill was a great feeling. We turned and we could see the Gateway. We didn't know where we were going once we got to the Gateway and were a little surprised to find out we had to wrap around the block one more time. The plan was to run through the Finish together but S had a little more umpff left in him than I did and he crossed 2 seconds in front of me.

Final time: 1:56:01 and 1:56:03. Five seconds shy of a PR but that's okay. S placed 1st in his age division! Now that's something that doesn't happen everyday. 1st PLACE! We are so happy and proud and believe-it-or-not S wants to run another one:) Yeah!

I'm sporting 3 large blisters and many sore muscles. S didn't get a blister or anything. Lucky guy!

101 POUNDS & THEN SOME...

2009-04-16T15:17:00.003-07:00

Isn't cub scouts awesome!

H built this tower out of popsicle sticks. They were allowed up to 100 popsicle sticks and limited to only Elmers glue. His tower held the most weight! We stacked up all the weights they had... 101 POUNDS and it was still standing strong.

I think I see an engineer in the works!

RUNNING 4 THE KIDS

2009-04-15T19:24:00.005-07:00

Don't forget to mark your calendar for the 2nd Annual "RUNNING 4 THE KIDS" 5K/1 Mile Run.

May 2, 2009

Brigham City Smith's

100% of proceeds benefiting PRIMARY CHILDREN'S MEDICAL CENTER

A $15 entry fee or $50 for a family of 4 (includes free t-shirt). $20 after 4/18/09 with no t-shirt guaranteed. Race will begin at 8:00 AM. Day of race registration and packet pick-up will begin at 7:15 AM. Race will begin and end at Smith's parking lot (156 S Main, Brigham City)

The Kids and I ran it last year and had a good time. I love this race because I know my money will go to a good cause. We love Primary's! In fact, we were there again today. Crew received botox injections in his gastrocs. Dr. Rehab, our physiatrist, talked to us about the possibility of "trying" medication to help Crew with his moods. This came up as he was screaming and hitting me in the face while I attemted to have an intelligent conversation with the doc. Normally I wouldn't consider it but after 4+ hours of screaming today I'm thinking medication doesn't sound so bad.

**Email me if you want the mailing address for registration. Hope to see you there!

Easter 5K

2009-04-14T19:29:00.004-07:00

Carl signed us up for a 5K on the base. We had no idea the Easter bunny was going to be there! Because we didn't have a babysitter I decided to sit it out this time and take care of Crew while Carl and S ran. I'm glad I went along... I don't think Crew was too impressed with the bunny though.

S was suppose to take it easy because we ran 11 miles the day before. He must have really pushed hard 'cuz the course was hilly and still he got a PR.

Carl also did really well. A year ago I would have never thought he would be a runner but he has really enjoyed it the past few months.

H stayed home with his grandparents. He really wanted to go to an egg hunt but with the 5k it just didn't happen. Bummer thing is they were having a huge egg hunt after the race.. we just didn't know.

I tried to get Crew interested in the hunt but it just didn't happen so we skipped out before it started.

The boys were really looking forward to the FREE t-shirt but I think they were a little disappointed to see a giant bunny on the front.

Do you think they will wear their shirts?

Rough week, month, or year?

2009-04-08T20:42:00.014-07:00

I can't really say when it started but I've been getting his attitude for awhile now. I'm very discouraged.... and tired.

It's one thing to pack your kid around and to constantly be guessing what he needs/wants but its another thing to regularly get smacked in the face in return.

The frustrations of being non-verbal cannot be articulated. he he. Really... I just don't know what to do anymore.

Fortunately, I was able to get him asleep early tonight. Our spring break starts now and I am hoping we can have some pleasant moments. PLEASE!!!

S and H and I have been enjoying a few moments of silence around here. Ah, so nice. I better get in bed cause my night shift starts soon. Bleh.

HEAD ABOVE WATER?

2009-04-06T21:56:00.002-07:00

I really think I could pull all this off if I were a fish. I'm having a hard time keeping my head above water. Last week was the basement project, running, and work... this week a sick kid, no sleep, running and a presentation to prepare. I'll catch you all later!

Staying active

2009-03-25T20:42:00.006-07:00

Basketball season is already over! S had a good season. We loved the coach and S made some new friends. It’s been fun to see him progress over the years. The boys his age are starting to play some great ball! We finished up the tournament last week and they got 2nd place in their division. Friday night is the “end of season” party… pizza and the movie “Monsters vs. Aliens”. He is excited.

Now it’s time to move more seriously into “Half—Marathon” training. Last weeks long run was 9 miles. We had an interesting run… ending up in unchartered territory. After running into a dead end, we had to jump two fences and a ditch, climb an embankment and make a bathroom pit stop. It was all my fault and S had a hard time getting into the groove after that. Miles 4 – 6 were a little rough but we kept it going and S got his second wind apparently because after we hit 9 miles he decided to throw in ONE more to make it 10! I had to rescue the babysitter, so I stopped at 9 and he continued. My legs were tired but I finished up Saturday’s run with a weekly total of 30. I’m happy with that.

This week is lots of prep work on our basement project. We are picking out paint and carpet and starting to make some progress… FINALLY. Yeah!

Slow him down.

2009-03-18T21:02:00.005-07:00

My boy, S, and I have NINE miles on the schedule for tomorrow! Normally I would look forward to these "long" runs but I have two things conspiring against me:

S has only one speed... FAST! I haven't gotten through to him yet how important it is to take the "long" runs easy. Last weeks 8 miler nearly killed me! Apparently 11 year old boys enjoy the competitiveness of "outrunning" their moms. I came to this conclusion after eating his dust for 2 - 3 miles.

I just can't seem to kick the dizzy bug. For two weeks I've had random bouts of dizziness, nausea, and fatigue. Should be fun.

WISH ME LUCK!

Sonora Grill Giveaway

2009-03-16T17:41:00.003-07:00

Carl and I ate at a new restaurant last Saturday night! Sonora Grill is so yum! We loved everything from the chips and salsa to the dessert. I want to go back again and again!

Sonora Grill is having a BIG giveaway. Go to their site and enter to win dinner for SIX. I'm feeling lucky today so if you want to join me for great Mexican cuisine, leave me a comment telling me why I should pick you to join me for FREEEEE dinner, appetizers, and dessert!

Cousins

2009-03-13T10:02:00.004-07:00

Originally I started this blog in hopes that my husbands side of the family would get more involved with my 3 boys. Not really to "get more involved" as much as just being more informed. They don't know Crew very well as we really don't get together with them often. I was going through some turmoil when I started this blog three years ago dealing with all of the diagnosis and medical issues. Every time my MIL called she would ask if he was talking yet or walking yet. Then she always said, "Aunt Doris is really worried that he won't talk". Well duh, so were we! The thing is... Aunt D isn't a part of our lives at all. Why in the world does she care anyway.

Well you guessed it... the in-laws haven't spent any time on this blog or I wouldn't be talking about them. Its not because I haven't mentioned it or sent the blog link to their email multiple times. They simply just don't care!

Last sunday, we decided to drive down south and join them for a birthday party. We were all sitting around eating and Crew was slumped on the couch. My MIL was looking for a place to sit and someone pointed to a spot on the couch next to Crew and said, "Mom, why don't you have a seat". She said, "I don't want to sit on the BABY", to which I snapped, "He isn't a baby, he's 5 years old!!!"

Some people will just never get it.

On the other hand, I'm grateful for those who do go out of their way for a hug or a hello. Little M always has a hug for Crew. Love is a universal language and you don't need to have verbal skills to show it. Thanks M!

Pelican Hills Resort & the Tuacahn 5K

2009-03-07T09:05:00.016-07:00

Carl and I had an awesome weekend getaway in St. George, Utah. In the past, we have always stayed in hotels when we go out of town but this time we had the opportunity to stay in a condo, Pelican Hills Resort. I'll tell you what, this is the way to GO!

Everything was clean and spacious and quite fancy for us really! The condo came with two bedrooms, two bathrooms, a full kitchen and dining room as well as the main living area. We enjoyed watching a movie on the flat screen TV and soaking in the large jetted tub but not at the same time. LOL.

Also, we realized our unit was accessible! What a huge difference this makes when you are dealing with a walker or wheelchair. We were a little bit sad that the kids weren't with us as they would have loved it! The resort also features a clubhouse with a Theatre Room, outdoor pool and hot tub, basketball and tennis courts, and a sandy play area for the kids. S & H would have been in heaven.

On the other hand, a romantic getaway for two was exactly what we needed. I've decided that every couple needs to get away at least every 6 months.

On Saturday morning, Carl and I participated in the Tuacahn 5K. I've been running these shorter distances for years but this was a first for Carl. We didn't know until we got there but the race was downhill for the first half then turn around and run uphill for the second half. I really felt in my groove for this race. The downhill part set the pace for me but the second half was really tough. I felt like I was pushing it really hard but didn't have a clue what my pace was because my Garmin died shortly after the first mile. As I crossed the finish line I looked up and was shocked to see 23:50! Wahoo! This was a 2 minute PR for me and I'm still surprised that I was able to pull it off. I turned around and started walking back to look for Carl. He wasn't far behind me... and he was smiling:)

As we waited for the awards I realized I've never seen this part of my husband before. I think it was runners high because he was talking to everyone, mingling and really enjoying himself. It makes me so happy when someone I love gets addicted to something I love too... running. Surprisingly enough, I ended up getting 1st place in my age group and 9th place overall.

The race was well organized and we walked away with a t-shirt memoir, medals and winners plaque. Don't get confused by the medals... we didn't participate in the Duathalon but they didn't have a separate logo for the runners. The duathalon was tons of fun and I would like to go back next year as a participant. I just need to find a bike! This weekend there is another race in Snow Canyon and Carl and I both want to go. Ah, wouldn't it be nice!

I'm still here

2009-03-03T21:40:00.003-07:00

There is so much to blog about and so little time. This past week we celebrated my birthday, watched S score 7 points in his basketball game, took a weekend getaway (just the hubs and I), ran a 5K, attended my nephews baby blessing plus all the other regular humdrum stuff...

Don't give up on me. Details to come...

Pinewood Derby 2009

2009-02-23T14:17:00.004-07:00

Saturday nights derby was one of those proud mom moments when you really appreciate your kid. It was also a great reminder that: NOT everyone is a good sport, NOT everyone will win, life goes on! H's car wasn't the fastest but he still left with a smile which is what made me proud. He did receive an award for the car with the most "MUSCLE" and we had a lot of fun.

Saturday was also the first time we used the powerchair indoors which means Crew also had fun. I forgot to take a picture of his FIRST time driving indoors so this one with him in the background will have to do.

What's a MOM to do?

2009-02-23T14:11:00.002-07:00

Crewzer leaves for school at 7:15 now!!! I've put in my hours at work already and I still have another hour until he comes home. I miss him. There's a million things I should be doing but I'm not doing any of them. Ever have a moment like that?

February ramblings

2009-02-16T16:38:00.002-07:00

I've been away too long. I can't tell you how refreshing it is to sit at my computer with the bulk of my stresses and worries gone. The last 10 days have been crazy!

Carl and I met with the school district and the deaf school to discuss Crew's transition to USD. After filling out mounds of paperwork it looks everything is clear for him to start tomorrow. The bus driver drove all the way up here to discuss transportation today. Crew will be the first picked up and the last dropped off which is exactly the opposite of what we hoped. We looked at carseat options and decided that I will drive him to school the first two days until they are able to locate a 5-point harness for him (my request). I'm good with this because I'm worried about the transition anyway so providing the transportation for the first couple of days will hopefully help him ease into his new world. Carl will be visiting part way through the first day and joining the preschoolers during their Tuesday swim day. Again, our choice! Crew is going to love swimming.

Also, I somehow survived the following:

6th grade science project. I'm pretty sure it meant more to me than my 11 year old.
Teaching RS about the Parables of Jesus. Big stressor for me... but like I said, "I survived".
Children with the flu.
Crew's right ear tube falling partially out and then getting removed by the ENT.
Crew molded for new DAFO's.

On a good note, I enjoyed:

The best sugar cookies ever.
Morning runs.
A date with the hubby at "Roosters", flowers, and a day to myself. Took myself shopping... wahoo!

Honestly, I hope to not be as absent here in the near future.

A Shout Out to the World

2009-02-07T09:36:00.003-07:00

We have been busy here partying! Crewzer turned FIVE! I can't believe it! Just moments after I shot this video we unexpectedly lost our balloons but Crew was so busy CREWZIN that he didn't even notice. LOL.

Today we have another party at the bowling alley. More to come...

The Deaf School.. following your GUT

2009-02-02T22:02:00.004-07:00

My tour of the deaf school last Wednesday went well. Carl and I actually feel pretty good about it. At this point, we figure we may as well give it a try because if we don't we will never know...

Crew has attended the preschool with our district for two years now. He has made some good strides but nothing significant. We are still struggling to communicate with him. This past Christmas we received the entire "Signing Time" collection and believe it or not his ASL has taken off.

I was able to observe all three deaf preschool classrooms together for "large group" activity. It was fun to watch the kids interact with each other. Most of the kids have hearing aids or cochlear implants. Many of them have glasses and a few were in wheelchairs. It didn't matter. The kids seemed to all be friends. They interacted well. They communicated with each other. I saw happy happy, smiling, giggling children.

Sometimes when I think about the strides we've made in the last 6 weeks I get kind of choked up. It's my greatest desire to see Crew communicate. And while the thoughts of having him away from home for such a long day make my heart sink, I hold out HOPE that this change will be a good one. We only want what is best for Crew. With that in mind, I made the phone call today that will set this transition into motion.

There is that parental instinct when you decide to do something you never thought you would do. I call it parenting through your GUT. Not that I haven't spent a lot of time on my knees though.

Have you ever made a decision "in the best interest of your child" that you never thought you would make? How did it turn out?

The GOOD and then some of the OTHER.

2009-02-01T18:26:00.008-07:00

Crew's wheelchair is here all the way from Texas. Our PT flew to Texas and brought it back with her on the plane. I am constantly amazed at how often we are blessed with people in our lives who go out of their way to help us. This PT doesn't even work with Crew anymore since he graduated from the 0 - 3 program. Two years later she is still watching out for him.

Let me just start by saying the chair was in good condition before it was turned over to American Airlines. Several phone calls were made to AA prior to this trip to determine the best way to bring this power wheelchair home via plane.

To make a long story short, the airline busted it up pretty good. The base is cracked and broken. The headrest, footrest, and armrests are all bent. A complaint was filed to American Airlines so hopefully the insurance coverage for 15K will cover the damages. What a mess! She said the chair came out of the baggage shoot. Uh hello, its a 200 pound chair. What a bunch of idiots!

Crew is excited! When he saw the chair sitting in the garage this afternoon he threw a fit because he couldn't drive it. Fortunately we still have the demo chair here and he was able to "Crewz" around in it for awhile.

I have contacted the Permobil rep through email already. Hopefully he will be able to stop by soon and write up a bill to submit to AA.

And since I don't have a current picture of Crew with his therapist, I am posting one from 2006.

In the Blink of an Eye

2009-01-30T21:33:00.003-07:00

When did this baby
turn into a little boy???

Reading Between The Lines

2009-01-26T22:00:00.004-07:00

A conversation with Crew's preschool teacher:

Miss K: I'm just calling to see how Crew is doing?

Me: Oh, he's good. Why... did he have a bad day at school today?

Miss K: I just wondered if he wasn't feeling well and/or if he was tired?

Me: Well, he did fall asleep on the bus ride home.... maybe he was tired.

Miss K: When he got to the classroom he just layed on the floor for like 10 minutes. When Clark (deaf therapist) came in and started signing to him he livened up a lot and they started signing to each other. Clark asked him if he was "tired" and (blah blah blah blah blah)... rubbed at his ear....(blah blah blah). I'm trying to learn 3 or 4 new signs a week and use them with Crew. (blah blah blah).

Can you imagine functioning in an environment where your teacher only knows a handful of signs and that is your main form of communication? Can you imagine the frustration, the boredom?

After last weeks IEP, Carl and I have decided its time to take a long hard look at enrolling Crew in the Deaf School. We've decided to take a tour of the school and meet the teachers. Tomorrow I will make that call.

Up for a CHALLENGE?

2009-01-22T18:55:00.002-07:00

And because spastic quadriplegia isn't enough of a challenge we have to add boots that are 10 sizes too big.

For yonks we've been stuck in the crawl-around-with-oversized-shoes-or-boots-on-your-hands stage. Constantly we are tripping over the aftermath of Tornado Shoe. Just this week I stood him up and slipped his little feet into a large pair of boots, ya know... just so he could get his "feel". Consequently, he likes this new hobby very much but it involves me following him around. What a guy!

Make Lemon Pie

2009-01-19T19:56:00.003-07:00

Within the last week I've survived:

Another IEP
Teaching Relief Society again. Lesson on Unity.
Sub 20 degree running weather (6 times).
Nights with less than 4 hours sleep
An ear infection. Not my ear but still...
5 hours hunched over in the basement using a caulking gun... my poor back.

Tonights FHE lesson was on Optimism. You would never know it, would you? LOL. Truly, the lesson is more for me than anyone. It included a scripture, story, object lesson, and lemon pie. "If life hands you lemons... make lemon pie". The pie didn't set up but I like it that way;)

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY

2009-01-14T18:35:00.002-07:00

Congratulations!

2009-01-12T21:52:00.003-07:00

Attack of the Mouse has a new little one. What a great addition to the family! I am so in love with this little guy. I am an AUNT:)

Backwards Resolutions

2009-01-12T14:30:00.003-07:00

The last thing I need is to set myself up for failure. Besides, I have enough guilt in my daily living to last me for awhile. After reading Jodi's post on backwards resolutions, I decided this is the way to go.

So, in an effort to guarantee SUCCESS and not add to my guilt, I've decided on the following resolutions:

I will not learn to sing on pitch this year.

I will not give up carbonated beverages.

I will not stop running.

I will not stop blogging.

I will not get super skinny.

I will not get out of debt.

I will not stop battling my boys to brush their teeth, make their beds, or pick up their clothes.

I will not vacation out of the country.

I will not be adding another one to our family.

I will not stop praying.

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY

2009-01-07T01:00:00.001-07:00

Is it OKAY?

2009-01-04T21:00:00.005-07:00

I just finished reading Jacolyn's post on "What exactly is your okay?" Jacolyn also has a child with CP and I've enjoyed getting to know her and her triplets via her blog. I haven't had the gumption to write anything regarding the holidays. Truth is, it's been really hard. I am so ready for school to start bright and early tomorrow morning. I try so hard to be positive but I feel like sometimes "its okay" to share the disappointment and frustration because that is what makes this blog real.

*********************

I remember people telling me it would be "okay" after I brought Crew home from the NICU. I knew in the back of my mind that it wouldn't be "okay". Almost 5 years later I realize the outcome is actually quite worse than I ever imagined it would be. I know that sounds horrible. However, it never occurred to me that he wouldn't be able to communicate. I didn't realize how frustrated and unhappy he would be to sit on the sidelines and watch. The days are hard and long.

**********************

It's a good thing that we can't see into the future. This spunky little 4 year old is determined to experience it all. We bought a treadmill the day after Christmas. The roads here are an icy mess and now with 3 of us running we decided it was time to make that investment. What we didn't anticipate was Crew's obsession with the treadmill. In 9 days I've only been able to squeeze in two good runs on the treadmill because Crew insists on joining me in my runs;) I'm tough but not throw 35 pounds on my back and run TOUGH. If he see's anybody go downstairs he screams and cries until he gets his time on the treadmill. This involves me standing on the sides and holding him upright while he walks at .5 mile/hour (grinning) until he is so tired that his legs are literally dragging. This usually takes about 10 - 12 minutes and then he is ready to give it a go again a few minutes later.

*******************

DOING.

We must constantly be doing something. If you've spent much time around me you've heard me brag about how well Crew is doing with his power chair. There was a day when we didn't think he would ever safely navigate the thing. Still, we have our moments but for the most part he is doing great. Unfortunately for me, we do not have an accessible home and so all his "driving" is done outside. As children typically can be, he does not notice the single digits, the frozen toes or the dripping nose. But what he does see are snowdrifts to conquer and ice hills to climb. He is blissfully happy until mom can't take the cold anymore and calls him inside.... and then he is a MONSTER:)

**************************

Tonight, after dealing with two LONG weeks off from school and therapy I experienced one of God's "tender mercies" as he snuggled down with me and fell asleep. I held him and thanked God for allowing me to be his mother, a calling for which I often feel inadequate. I hope I'm doing "okay" with this huge responsibility. I surely do feel blessed to have him in my life. I too have decided after many prayers and tears-- it's going to be OKAY. I don't know how, I just know that it is.

White Christmas

2008-12-22T21:31:00.006-07:00

I chipped away at the ice for over an hour today. The best part about it was having my little man keep me company through it all.

Shhhh.... don't tell our sales rep that we dragged his chair through the snow just for kicks. Crew did surprisingly well but it looks like we'll have to adjust the torque if he really wants to climb the snowbanks;

Crew is really enjoying the holiday lights, the cold, and the snow. The other night while driving around we stopped to look at lights and listen to our neighbors synchronized lights/music. I asked Crew if he "liked" the lights and he signed a definite "LIKE" and then clapped his hands. The sign is coming along:)

WISHING YOU A WHITE CHRISTMAS!

Christmas Break

2008-12-19T15:31:00.005-07:00

Woohoo! These 3 handsome guys will be home with me for the next 16 days! S saw the movie "Bolt" with his school today. H made two gingerbread houses this week, one at scouts and one at school. Today he had a party with his class. Crew partied it up at preschool also! He came home with lots of interesting treasures. Crew isn't much of a candy guy but he did eat 1/2 of a chocolate snowman today. S doesn't eat much candy either. I guess H will have to make up for his two brothers' lacking sweet tooth (teeth). I'm really craving pizza today. Problem is that S and I are the only ones who would enjoy it.

I don't know how this post ended up being all about food. 'Tis the season;) Have a good weekend.

Artificial All the WAY

2008-12-15T23:04:00.006-07:00

With only 10 days until Christmas I did the unexpected today...

Removed tree ornaments

Removed tree lights

Hauled our dried, crispy tree to the backyard firepit in anticipation of future bonfire spectacular.

Vacuumed up a boat load of dead pine needles

Scrubbed and shampoo carpet where tree stand made a stain.

Received refund for Dried Dead Tree

Purchased Artificial Pre-Lit Tree

Assembled beautiful clean 7 1/2 foot tree

Plugged in lights

Redecorated tree

Smiled

Read "The Littlest Angel" to 3 happy boys while snuggling around the Christmas tree.

Indulged in Icecream over Brownies.

Called it a night.

Some days are productive like that! NOT. I learned my lesson: No more live trees for me. It's too much hassle and things get ruined. Oh, and I can get that same pine scent from my Reed Diffuser:)

A Generous Donation

2008-12-09T22:06:00.006-07:00

Our battles to get insurance to pay for a power chair have been significant! Its amazing how the loaner chair has brightened our little Crew. We have both primary and secondary insurance. You would think it wouldn't be so hard... but that is Utah for you!!!

Last week I received an unexpected phone call...

Another little boy, JJ, who also has CP and is older than Crew has graduated from his little Koala chair to a newer one. JJ's mom wants to GIVE us his Koala chair!!! I am so touched, and grateful, happy, relieved!

JJ lives in Texas. We are in Utah!

Now I am on a mission to figure out how to get the chair shipped here in one piece. This will be much easier than dealing with insurance, I hope! We are so blessed!

Holiday fun and Road Rash.

2008-12-03T10:33:00.007-07:00

I'm not sure if my lack of posting has more to do with feeling overwhelmed or somewhat dissatisfied. Fortunately, I DO have enough sense not to shout those little secrets to the rest of the world. Apparently, when I get in these little funks I forget to pull my camera out of the bag. Sorry, I've got nothing to document the holiday.

I cooked Thanksgiving dinner for just the five of us which was a first. DH was ready to just stay home and take it easy this year. This was a better alternate then dragging 3 kids, wheelchair and various DME equipment 2 hours away to spend the day in a cold church. I ate sweet potatoes for the first time EVAH and they were so good! The mashed potatoes were also a hit and so was the Reese's Peanut Butter pie.

Friday night we stayed with extended family at a Girls Camp lodge that my parents had rented. It was fun reconnecting with family. The little nieces and nephews are growing up way to fast. The whole time we were there I was looking forward to my next run. I'm getting to the point that I cannot live without my runs. I need running and its a great feeling. Saturday morning when I woke up at the lodge I was eager to jump into a run. The road leaving the camp is uphill for about the first mile. When I got to the top of the hill I took off my gloves and my jacket. I was so excited to have made it to the top and set off for a 3 mile downhill course. I had just finished telling myself that it was time to practice downhill running S style. When S and I run he flies down the hills. S says its easy... "just let your body go". So, just as I finished telling myself to not hold back and pick up the pace, I find myself flying through the air. For some reason when I'm in a situation like this my brain processes everything in slow motion. Has that ever happened to you? Anyway, I find myself flying forward on a very STEEP, GRAVEL road! I realize that I am just going to keep on sliding down the road as soon as I hit the ground. Instinctively, I catch myself with just one hand and one knee and then I purposely rolled to avoid turning my face into hamburger. My plan worked quite well actually... not a scratch on my face! My left hand had sharp rocks embedded under the skin with some nice deep road rash. My left knee and right elbow also suffered road rash and now 5 days later I am left with some nice bruises on my knees, elbow, and hip. Truly I was quite sore the day after.

After I fell, I jumped up and checked out my wounds. Realizing I was one mile from the lodge I decided to continue my run. I ran 6.5 miles of hills. Not sure quite how I did it but still glad I did:) Also, I completed my goal of 100 miles for the month of November and that makes me so happy!

Happy Thanksgiving!

2008-11-26T22:42:00.003-07:00

We have a lot to be grateful for... a warm home, food in abundance and a loving family. We are blessed to live in a beautiful area with majestic mountains all around. Our home and community is a place where we feel safe and secure. A place filled with kind, service oriented people. Laughter, Hugs, Respect. Oh, there is so much more...

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Leaf Crunching

2008-11-23T13:16:00.002-07:00

I love it that this chair (which we don't own but would like too) gives him the freedom to play in a way that he couldn't before. After sweeping out the garage, Crew discovered the joy of crunching this small pile of leaves that had blown into the garage. He steered the chair around in circles giggling as he smashed one leaf after another. Also, while S was mowing the lawn, Crew followed him back and forth across the grass until the job was done. Who would've thought a wheelchair could provide freedom for a little boy. It's interesting this journey... I guess I see things quite differently than I did before.

A checklist.

2008-11-22T14:42:00.003-07:00

I saw this on Yvonne's blog. It looked fun so I decided to play along. I'm so grateful for all of lifes experiences. Things I have done are in Yellow. Looks like I need to travel more;)

1. Started my own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than I can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland/world
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sung a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught myself an art from scratch- I don't know what this means?
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown my own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitchhiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb- No, but I've held a baby pig
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon- Just a 1/2
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of my ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught myself a new language- Learning ASL
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing- No, but I've been spelunking
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had my portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had my picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Visited to Mt. Rushmore

The Weekend is HERE

2008-11-21T22:07:00.002-07:00

I'm looking forward to breaking up the weekday monotony with something different. Running Crew to 3 different appointments this week and working part-time has left me with some anxiety because I don't feel like I'll ever get caught up with everything.

I'm loving that it is still dry outside and plan to go for a good run tomorrow morning. S is running the Turkey Trot tomorrow and I think the plan is for me to take a turn staying home with Crew so Carl can run.

S & H also have basketball.

And then there is "TWILIGHT" with a friend. yeah for me!!! Sometimes its nice to do something brainless even if it is Cheesy;)

So much to be thankful for...

2008-11-19T15:50:00.012-07:00

Read no further if you are tired of these gratitude posts! I wouldn't blame you because sometimes it can get annoying:) I have to admit it definitely helps to focus on the blessings because its so easy to go the other way.

H rescued me from a screaming child last night. Sometimes I think Crew just needs a change of scenery. What an awesome big brother.

Gotta love the sound of the piano (not that our piano sounds good really but the concept of a child learning to play...) in the background. Keep up all that hard work S!

New glasses for Crew. We made our way south yesterday to see the ophthalmologist and came home with a new prescription. Today, we saw our favorite optical dude and ordered a pair of new frames with the transition lenses.

Tomorrow is Crew's botox injections. It's kind of strange when you look forward to these things. Also, the "LIMP" is back (which isn't a good thing) but I'm hoping the doc will help me figure it out.

Nieces and nephews-- I love you all! I'm a little bummed that we won't be with the in-laws this year for Thanksgiving. I miss seeing my 8 nieces and 2 nephews on that side of the family. It's been too long. However, I will get to see the 8 nieces and 5 nephews from my side one of which I haven't met yet. Love you Jett!

A good read. Just finished reading "Princess Academy". Can't wait to get "Goose Girl" from the bookmobile.

S is cruising along in the Scouting program and enjoying it. How grateful I am not only for the program itself but for his excellent leaders as well!

Carl is taking the day off tomorrow to come with me to Crew's botox appointment. Afterwards, we plan to do a little shopping at the outlets. Woohoo!

Well that's a good list, isn't it! I'm behind in my blog hopping. My deepest apologies for lack of comments. Hopefully I'll be catching up soon.

A November Rose

2008-11-15T21:26:00.005-07:00

I thought I would share something I learned this week while searching for an object lesson to go along with my RS lesson on "Standing Fast through the Storms of Life". I loved the comparison using roses but wondered all week how I would find a true garden rose given that it has been below freezing quite consistently here. I was grateful today when I realized my neighbor had several surviving roses in her yard. Grateful again when she agreed to let me have a few roses for my lesson. Here is the object lesson:

Roses that are grown in a greenhouse are very beautiful but their scent is weak. Why is that?

Greenhouse roses don't have to develop a heavy scent to attract bees in order to flourish. They are fed, watered, and watched over by the gardener, all in ideal conditions.

Outdoor roses face much harsher conditions: wind, rain, cold, heat, and bugs. Outside, roses must develop the strong rose scent in order to attract the bees. Roses raised out of doors are both beautiful to see and to smell. If we lived under perfect conditions without the storms of life, we would not develop our "scents" as best as we might have, had we been strengthened through adversity. It is those who are tempered in the heat of the Lord's oven of adversity who develop a beautiful "scent". They bring joy and gladness to all around them and are beautiful spiritually.

It is so true! I have the outdoor rose and beautiful rose that I purchased (one that has obviously been grown in a greenhouse). Hands down... the scent of the outdoor rose is much stronger. Next year I will be planting a rose bush or two!

More Gratitude

2008-11-12T22:25:00.005-07:00

The past many days have been rough. Crew won't eat or sleep (and cries all day) and I've been filled with anxiety knowing I have a Relief Society lesson to give in less than a week. Even though I've been mulling it over in my mind for weeks, I still did not know for sure how to present it. Tonight, after putting Crew in bed, and while he was still screaming (because he wants me) I locked myself in my closet and said a prayer. "Dear Heavenly Father... if you really want me to do a good job with the lesson you've got to help me figure out how to magnify my calling as a mother and as a RS teacher.... Please please help me get Crew settled down and asleep.... I cannot focus unless the home is still."

Ironically, my lesson is on "Standing Fast Through the Storms of Life".

I know it sounds strange but I was able to FINALLY get him to sleep AND get a concrete outline of my talk in only 2 hours time. I'm grateful in so many ways...

grateful #10

2008-11-10T21:26:00.002-07:00

We had quite a long 3 weeks here toting Crew around. I wrote about his difficulty bearing weight on his right leg and his obvious limp. After seeing the PT and the pediatrician, x-rays and an ultrasound revealed nothing. Under the direction of his doc we treated him with good old Ibuprofen (3 X a day for 2 weeks).

We may never know why but last week Crew seemed to be completely healed. I'm so grateful that it wasn't something serious. He is walking again even running. I've noticed he is weak but it won't be long until he regains his strength.

grateful #9

2008-11-09T21:17:00.003-07:00

After 8 days without sugar, I have to admit the classic chocolate chip cookie makes my gratitude list. I found an entertaining article: "THE CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE: AN AMERICAN ICON".
It's rather interesting. If your not already craving one of these cookies you will be after you've read the article;)
After church I reminded DH that today was my sugar day. He asked me what I wanted... "A chocolate chip cookie", I said. Lucky for me, DH was in a baking mood:)

grateful #8

2008-11-09T13:10:00.009-07:00

S was 18 months old when I found out we would be having another baby. Carl and I were excited because more than anything I wanted S to have a sibling. I pictured the two quickly becoming close friends. S was a very obedient, mild tempered and happy little boy... I had no reason to expect anything other than total and complete bliss!

My pregnancy with H was fairly uneventful compared to the other two. Other than a whole lot of morning sickness which is suppose to be healthy anyway. The labor and delivery were a dream. Within seconds of H's birth the nurse exclaimed, "He has a dimple". H was also blessed with a full head of hair. I was so excited to take this baby home and share him with his equally adorable big brother.

The next few months are a blur but I do remember that all was NOT bliss as I had expected. Sibling rivalry was rampant in the Gizmo household. Too bad I didn't have all the experience and wisdom that I have now. LOL. I'm sure it was my reaction to S's reaction that started us on a path of sibling rivalry and contention. I remember one sad day when my very articulate three year old told me he wished he never had a brother. Does this sound familiar to anyone else?

The boys are about as opposite as two people can be. It has been an interesting journey and we are all learning a little as we go along. S and H remind me of my two younger brothers who would wrestle and pounce on each other much to my amusement as well as the rest of our family. I've often marveled that my brothers have grown into fine adults and have become good friends. I suppose the two of them were probably friends all along... I just didn't see it.

Today, I'm blessed with these 3 wonderful boys. We have our ups and downs. I'm guilty of focusing on the negative but truth be told, I think these two really are good friends. Sunday is a family day here and because we don't have the distractions of neighbor friends, I find that these two good looking boys do in fact like each other. I'm so grateful that they are friends!

grateful #5, #6, and #7

2008-11-07T17:12:00.003-07:00

I'm getting a little behind here. Obviously this gratitude list is in no particular order. Truth be told- I am grateful for some of the materialistic things in life like:A good pair of running shoes and friends to run with:)

This nifty crockpot. We are having Chicken & Rice soup tonight!A digital camera. Unfortunately this one isn't mine. The camera I own is really basic and quite cheap actually but the important thing is that I do in fact own a digital camera. I've been using it today to snap pics of things around the house that I need to sell, posting pics on ksl.com and bringing in a little cash for Christmas. Wahoo!

Questions for H

2008-11-05T14:23:00.007-07:00

I stole this from Tori's blog. It's always fun to find out whats in your little ones head. H is 9 years old... here are his answers.

1. What is something mom always says to you? Uh, that's a hard one. Do your homework before playing with friends.

2. What makes mom happy? when I do my homework

3. What makes mom sad? going to friends without asking

4. How does your mom make you laugh? blows in my face (I did this today when he implied that I had bad breath)

5. What was your mom like as a child? I don't know.

6. How old is your mom? 34

7. How tall is your mom? I would say 6 1/2 feet.

8. What is her favorite thing to do? play on the computer and eat in front of the kids

9. What does your mom do when you're not around? Go to Ogden and get Cafe Rio.

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for? her job (I work for an OB/Gyn so I'm not so sure its going to get me anywhere!)

11. What is your mom really good at? (we had to come back to this one)- Playing Bejeweled on the computer. (That's right I am the ultimate champion)

12. What is your mom not very good at? solving the Rubiks cube

13. What does your mom do for her job? works on the computer

14. What is your mom's favorite food? Cafe Rio (I had this today... do you see a trend?)

15. What makes you proud of your mom? Voting for John McCain (I love this kid!)

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be? Mickey Mouse-- NO-- Mickey Mouse's wife

17. What do you and your mom do together? Uno and Monopoly

18. How are you and your mom the same? we belong to the same family

19. How are you and your mom different? My moms bigger than me... For now... because she's older.

20. How do you know your mom loves you? This is easy! She makes dinner for me every night and helps me get ready for school.

What I've learned from this: I spend to much time on the computer, I eat too often, games are important and my growing son values a good cooked meal. Also, H knows a good education is important to me ... someday it will be important to him too!

grateful #4

2008-11-04T21:22:00.004-07:00

You may have caught on in my last post that Crew was crying in his bed, trying to get out. Tonight is a much happier tune as I keep hearing peals of laughter and tons of giggles. What a beautiful sound of which I am so grateful!

grateful #3

2008-11-03T20:33:00.002-07:00

How thankful I am that I have this handsome guy in my life. Carl is very supportive of me. He is also very complimentary, intelligent, resourceful and hardworking. We live a very comfortable life and I give all the credit to him for the long hours he works well into the night. His work week always exceeds the normal 40 hour work week by 10 or 20 hours.

Also, he is very involved with the boys and they love him. Bedtimes and early mornings always go smoother when he is around/awake. One little boy, Crew, is going through a daddy stage (which I love) and he doesn't do too well without his daddy there. Lucky for you, you can't hear the screaming that I am not-so-effectively blocking out right now. Ah, bedtime once again!

grateful #2/ Primary teachers

2008-11-02T14:20:00.006-07:00

I'm participating in a month of GRATITUDE which the blog South Breeze Farm has started. Our ward's Monthly newsletter contained a story from a talk given by Sister Bonnie B. Parkin where a family was going through a difficult time. They had a hard time not focusing on their challenges. Instead, they turned to a loving Heavenly Father for guidance. Almost immediately the family noticed so much to be grateful for. The mother stated, "The more we expressed our gratitude, the more there was to be grateful for."

This is a powerful talk. I know I've referenced it here before. Openly expressing gratitude is something I need to work on. I feel gratitude daily and try to express it in my prayers but I want to do better at telling/showing those around me that I am truly grateful.

For quite awhile I've felt so blessed that my three boys each have a wonderful Primary/Sunday teacher. Each teacher is able to touch their lives for good and the boys have been receptive. These 3 teachers go beyond the basic preparation as teachers. I am so grateful. When I attempt to teach the boys a gospel principle or scripture during FHE or at other times, I find they've already learned the principle or can recite the scripture story from memory. Their respective teachers are doing a wonderful job. Primary is suppose to be a supplement to the teachings we do in our homes but honestly I'm having a hard time keeping up:)

We are so blessed to have a unique teacher for Crew. Our Bishop feels its important enough for Carl and I to attend our classes and get spiritually fed that he has called one brother to care for Crew during that two hour period. What a blessing! Brother C does an excellent job. Crew loves him. I'm sure the task is far from easy as I know he does spend a lot of time with Crew in the hall. When the Primary kids are singing, I can hear Crew "singing"/screeching along with the best of them.

Productive Day/ grateful #1

2008-11-01T21:17:00.005-07:00

Our family participated in the "Run 4 Amber" 5K and 1 Mile. H decided a few minutes before start time to run the 5K with his friends. It was funny because only an hour before he declared that he would only do the Mile if he could walk it and push Crew in the stroller. When I found out H was running, I took off my Garmin and gave it to S. I told him he was on his own. This was the first time I wasn't there to set the pace for him.

H was awesome! He ran his first ever 5K in 31 minutes something with absolutely no training. S did really well running in just over 26 minutes but he was really bummed because he didn't get a PR.

Carl decided to walk the mile with Crew. Whatever!

The community support was unbelievable! I was so happy and grateful that the event was well attended. Grateful to live in a community where people care. Everyone was wearing pink to support Amber in her fight against breast cancer. Amber was able to make it and seeing her and hearing her publicly give thanks was emotional. The run was lots of fun and the auction afterwards was well supported. The race and auction organizers did a nice job!

The weather couldn't have been any nicer today. After the race we came home and worked on home projects. Carl painted some exterior doorways and I climbed onto the roof and hung our Christmas lights (it's my favorite pre-holiday activity). Carl and I always fight over who gets to do it. I don't know that he really loves being up there but I don't think he likes the neighborhood seeing his wife up there alone. Tee hee.

H started basketball today! This is the first year he has wanted to play. He was pretty happy after his first practice and said it was fun. I hope his enthusiasm continues.

RUN FOR AMBER

2008-10-29T11:05:00.005-07:00

My most recent blog posts are becoming few and far between. There are many reasons for this (life is busy). However, the truth is that when I sit down to write I feel as if our day to day happenings are somewhat insignificant. These feelings stem from watching a friend as she battles Inflammatory Breast Cancer. My heart hurts for Amber and I'm sure I am one of many who feels a sense of helplessness. Amber and Dan have been great examples to Carl and I as we've gotten to know them since moving here. Amber, mother of 5, has fought valiantly for the past 18 months. I'm excited to participate in a charity run this Saturday to show support to Amber and her family.

Carl is running the 5K with me this time and S hopes to (he's nursing a sprained ankle). One detail that I haven't ironed out yet... what to do with Crew.

I hope the turn out is significant. Whether you know Amber or not, come run to support the fight against breast cancer. If you're not in the area, you can leave a message to Amber on her blog. Hope to see you there!

One step back

2008-10-22T20:51:00.003-07:00

Something is wrong with Crew's leg. I noticed he was favoring his right leg starting on Sunday. It seems like its getting worse not better. I didn't let him walk or crawl today. We had PT and the therapist confirmed that there is something going on. It looks like he has pain in his hip. He sent me home with some stretching assignments. We are to keep an eye on it over the next couple of days and if it hasn't resolved itself we will have to get a Dr.'s opinion.

Just lost another notch up the ladder... Two steps forward, One step back.

STOCKING UP!

2008-10-21T13:13:00.011-07:00

Saturday was the 1st Annual A+ family wheat cleaning extravaganza! My dad is the hardest working man I know and generous to boot! This project reminded me of the story of the Little Red Hen except the rest of us did jump in and help with the wheat cleaning. First, grandpa planted and watered the wheat all summer long and harvested it. Gotta love the orange dump truck (Crew was in heaven)!

Also, grandpa spent many hours working on an old wheat cleaner in preparation for the day.

The wheat is dumped from the truck into the cleaner where the chaff is separated. Beautiful clean wheat pours into 5-gallon storage buckets.

Grandpa also provides BIG toys to keep little boys entertained!

From dump truck to storage containers--

Oh, after you fill all storage buckets one might line 55 gallon drums with garbage bags and fill those too!

Isn't this cool!
This is just a small portion of the 6000+ pounds of wheat that we put up. Thanks Grandpa!

Most importantly...

2008-10-19T20:39:00.004-07:00

We had a busy fun weekend but I don't have the energy to post about it right now.

Today, I gave my RS lesson on "The Plan of Salvation". I studied it all month long. It's such a deep and broad subject and the sisters in our ward range from young 18-year old singles to the more seasoned grandmothers and such. I worry about how to teach knowing most sisters have more experiences and knowledge than I. I feel that my lack of confidence is actually a blessing because I know how important it is for me to prayerfully prepare and seek the spirit. I felt like the lesson went well and I received many compliments afterward. This calling is great for me because it forces me to study and ponder the gospel teachings in depth.

Here are some quotes from the lesson that I love and have caused me to ponder:

“ALL THE MINDS AND SPIRITS THAT GOD EVER SENT INTO THE WORLD ARE SUSCEPTIBLE OF ENLARGEMENT”.

“Satan cannot seduce us by his enticements unless we in our hearts consent and yield. Our organization is such that we can resist the devil; if we were not organized so, we would not be free agents.”

“I am dwelling on the immortality of the spirit of man. Is it logical to say that the intelligence of spirits is immortal, and yet that it has a beginning? The intelligence of spirits had no beginning, neither will it have an end. That is good logic. That which has a beginning may have an end. There never was a time when there were not spirits. …

I am so thankful for the Plan of Salvation. I honestly don't think I could face each day without the knowledge that I can be with my family for eternity and that our bodies will be restored to their perfect state. Truly, its the main thing that keeps me going!

Guest Photographer

2008-10-15T06:41:00.002-07:00

I vaguely remember the older boys messing around with my camera while I was preparing dinner the other day. S with his hand against the back of Crew's head and H (camera in hand) on the other side of the glass. I found this little treasure waiting for me when I loaded pics onto my computer. I guess this is what happens when you have older siblings! LOL.

Where is Fall?

2008-10-12T19:53:00.000-07:00

Am I the only one that's not excited about this?

On a Happier Note...

2008-10-09T19:53:00.002-07:00

Crew has a new obsession! Building with his Mega Blocks is what he wants first thing in the morning and as soon as he gets home from school. He prefers NOT to play alone so I enlist the help of his brothers, respite worker and/or ME.

In the past few weeks I've noticed an increased ability to not only stack the blocks well BUT he is also using both hands to separate two blocks. He mainly uses his right hand to hold the blocks while he pulls them apart with his left. 90% of the time he uses his LEFTY to stack but on occasion he will use his RIGHT hand. This is good, very very good.

Oh, and in case you haven't guessed it... the BEST part is knocking them down:)

Communication

2008-10-09T15:22:00.009-07:00

Today when I think of the word "communication" it reminds me of the word "frustration". Did you know the two are related? Apparently they are!

This week has been a hard one. Crew is really struggling to communicate his wants and needs. We've tried everything I can think of. It has been 4 years now and we are NOT making progress. I know its not true (and those of you in my same situation would probably like to hit me over the head with a hammer) but sometimes it feels like we are the ONLY ones in this boat. Today it hit me really hard and I cried like a big baby (which doesn't help anything by the way). Crying just makes you tired, and pity parties don't help either which is why they are far and few between in my world. Learn from my mistakes and just buck it up and SMILE.

I've decided I need to change the focus of my prayers. I've tried everything I can think of and I don't think I'm going to get anywhere in this endeavor without my Heavenly Fathers help.

Immunization Records

2008-10-08T13:00:00.004-07:00

The preschool threatened that Crew would "be excluded from attending" if I did not provide adequate immunization records. The form letter states that he is missing his 4th dose of Pneumoccocal (PCV7). What??? I have always taken my children in for their scheduled shots.

Last night I took Crew to the pediatrician for said shot. After looking over his records it appeared that we missed the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd of a FOUR shot series. I did not think this was right and figured his records must have been incomplete since we moved when he was nearly 6 months old. Unfortunately, I have been missing his little Immunization Record book for so long I started thinking we never had one. The Dr. did not think it was a good idea to get the shot and so we went home.

Today I had a plan to sort through three different drawers in an effort to locate the book. Before looking, I felt prompted to rearrange/clean my computer work area. What do you know...TADAH

I found the book!

I am so happy about this, happy that Crew doesn't need anymore shots and happy to provide "adequate records". Thank you very much!

Random Thoughts

2008-10-06T20:47:00.004-07:00

It seems the longer I go without posting, the harder it is to recap the day/weekend.

Conference weekend was great! I didn't do a good job of taking notes but I did try to listen to all 8 hours. I really enjoyed the spirit of the meetings and I'm excited to see the Conference podcasts already sitting in my inbox. yeah!

My Mizunos have over 350 miles on them and I started getting pains so I broke down and bought a new pair of running shoes. SAUCONY this time! Unfortunately, after only 6 miles I've already got blisters. I don't remember getting blisters with the Mizuno's... not even when they were new. I've decided to take advantage of their 15 day return policy and swap them out for a different shoe.

My friend Erica is faced with the decision of whether or not her adorable son should get a Baclofen Pump and if so when? This is something that we have considered for Crew. I'm amazed at the daily "Google" hits that bring people to my blog when they are searching for information about the pump. There are many pro's and con's to consider. Crew is taking Baclofen orally and this helps him but also causes him to drool and makes him weak in other areas. We don't know if the oral Baclofen or his spasticity contributes to his inability to speak. Placing the pump is a little frightening but what scares me the most is the 10% chance of having a kinked catheter. This could cause withdrawal symptoms and during the stage when they experiment with dosages there is a possibility of overdose. The biggie though is that the pump is the size of a hockey puck. I've seen the pump and I'll tell you right now that Crew's little tummy doesn't have anything to it. He is skin and bones. Ah, decisions!

My new job. I'm in training for a new position at the Dr.'s office where I've worked for the past year. I'm looking forward to something different but for the next little while my head will be spinning.

Well that was pretty random, wasn't it!

5K Report

2008-09-29T20:46:00.006-07:00

I do have the intention of eventually starting a separate blog to document my running adventures. But, until then just a quick post to report:

S and I ran the Wellsville "Hotter than Haiti" 5 K Fun Run last Saturday. The run was held to raise funds for an orphanage in Haiti. I was surprised at how many little Haitian children were there who have been adopted by families in our area. It was really neat!

The weather was perfect.

The course was quite fun with a couple small hills.

We both set a new PR.

S- 25:36

Mel- 25:37

Oh, and S walked away with a football prize from the raffle drawing. Woot!

Next race: Red Ribbon Run- October 11th.

Milestones to Achieve

2008-09-26T14:18:00.008-07:00

Like I said in a previous post, Crew learned to sit up in bed. Thanks for the many comments, cheers, praise, and rejoicing with us in this accomplishment! Twenty-Six comments is an all time high for me and it does help knowing we have our own little cheering squad.

As anticipated, his new skill has led to another.

This is good... very very good! Unfortunately, we aren't getting a whole lot of sleep around here and nap times are far and few between.

* Note: Positions pictured are exactly as occurred but just to save my pride- No, I don't dress my child in the same outfit everyday and he doesn't wear jeans to bed for the night.

On another note, today I went with Crew and his Preschool class on a little field trip to a local "Hobby Farm". I volunteered to bring his wheelchair as they would be walking a few blocks. I anticipated having a wonderful time with my son. There would be chickens to see, horses, ostriches, emu's, tortoises, turtles. I even stopped to purchase batteries for my camera for the great event. What I didn't anticipate was the drama my little one would put on "just because mom was there". You know the one, "Let me show you all how I've got my mom wrapped around my little finger". So embarrassing! I even told the teacher that I wish I hadn't gone because I know he is fine without me. In his little class there is an adorable little girl who also has CP. I met McKenna at a GYM class over two years ago before Crew could even crawl. McKenna, a 1 lb preemie was then learning to crawl and pull-to-stand. Today I saw her RUN without the use of a walker or DAFO's for that matter. Part of me was thrilled to see her progress and her cuteness. McKenna is an example of all that can be achieved. But then... it was just a LITTLE disheartening to think of how far we still have to go.

Yes, discouragement is a part of our world but I do try not to let it take over. In your everyday lives, do you suffer from discouragement, self-criticism, or the awful trait of comparing yourself to others? Sometimes it can be so debilitating! I really detest the feelings of discouragement.

How thankful I am today to come home and read this post by one of my favorite bloggers. I agree wholeheartedly with Lori that each one of us is blessed with different talents, experiences, opportunities. We cannot compare what we are going through with that which we "see" of others. I don't think we can ever guess what challenges another might face or experience. Lori, also talks about BALANCE. This is something I am getting better at. There was a time in my life as a mother where I DID NOT invest energy and time for me. How invigorating it is to finally have something that I enjoy (exercise)! I will keep reminding myself that its okay to indulge in this passion without guilt and it will make me a better wife/mother/daughter/sister/friend. Yes, it's okay!

Sweet September

2008-09-24T20:27:00.004-07:00

YESSSS!!!!!

S and I went running today at 4:00 pm. I am not use to running in the middle of the day but we had an opportunity- and we went. It was a good, hard run. Part way through, S got really tired so I dropped him off at the van and continued on for another 1.5 miles. I passed the bank and their digital sign said it was 86 degrees! My mouth has never felt so dry on a run and I felt like choking. By the time I got back to the van I was dead. I grabbed my water bottle and sucked it dry then S wanted a cheeseburger. *giggle* Good times!