Friday, March 16, 2012

"as long as it's healthy"

This phrase is one that causes one to ponder...

My brother and his wife are the proud parents of 5 beautiful daughters! My interactions with their family always leave me in awe as I am so impressed with their thoughtfulness and wisdom in raising such kind, talented little girls.

I visited them a couple years ago as they were expecting their 5th child (of which they did not want to find out about the gender). I noticed right away that when others inquired about the gender or made comments indicating that maybe they "will get THEIR boy" my sister-in-law was quick to say.... "We will love whatever we get".

This comment from a wise mother who didn't want her daughters to ever feel like they weren't wanted.

Due to my employment, my days are filled with interactions among pregnant women. Pregnancy, for the most part, is an exciting time with a large focus on "what they will get". Quite often it is made clear that maybe they are a little disappointed to find out "it's a boy", or "it's a girl" depending on their desires and situation. Inevitably, they will almost always say... "it doesn't really matter as long as it's healthy".


How can I not feel a somewhat stunned by that comment? Why does it feel like a slap in the face? Why does it hurt so much? Why... because it feels like they are saying, "As long as he/she isn't like your boy"...

I want to say... "what if it's not healthy"? Then sometimes, I really just don't want to hear the answer.